Things that people say to hijabis that irritates me

Yes, people. I have now decided to wear the hijab. The feeling? Good cause I've been thinking about it since last year. However, ever since before I don the hijab, people have been saying stuff to hijabis which irritates me to the core and here it is.

Disclaimer: Some of the things here are not really what has been said to a hijabi but what I foresee what they will say to me. And, some don't really apply to hijabis but I just want to bring it here to show how much we never give our girls a break.

• That girl wears a hijab but she smokes/do any immoral activities
  As much as I agree, hijabis come with a responsibility cause we've got our aurats covered, doesn't mean you can demonize us even more compared to our non-hijabi counterpart cause dude, you're all covered up and you smoke but I never say anything (even though I should)
• Wear bawal, shawls are weird
  Seriously dude? Shut up! I ain't liking that lollipop coloured pants either but I respect your freedom of expression.
• Why the hell are they wearing heavy makeup? Au naturel is beautiful
  Well, we are told to conceal our beauty and since you told us that, heavy makeup seems to work in concealing our beauty.
• Why do you wear a hijab? Are you getting married?
  What? So, I have to get married first in order for me to wear hijab in peace? How nice.
• You're carrying the name of Islam, you should watch yourself.
  So are the non-hijabis and you.
• You look scary in that(this doesn't really apply to hijabis only. This basically applies to girls who like to wear bold colours/makeup).
  My plan work... perfectly.
• Why do you even wear a hijab? It's oppressive.
  Cause it helps me to tone down your oppressive speech.
• Are you wearing it to attract a guy?
  If I wanna attract a guy, I'll do the bend and snap.
• You wear hijab and you skateboard/go to rock concerts/party? What will the non-Muslims say?
  They don't care.
• You can't be a feminist now.
  Really? Just watch me.
• Look at the hijabis nowadays. They look weird with the way they do their hijab and they look too stylish.
  Ever heard of the term 'freedom of expression'?
• You can't wear pants when you wear the hijab.
  Ever heard of palazzo and wide legs? By the way, straight cut and bootlegs aren't what you call body-wrapping.
• That hijabi wears jeans!
  You think skinny jeans and jeggings are the only jean style?????
• Since you behaved this way, better not wear a hijab at all.
  Since, you're talking this way, better take off all your clothes and go streaking.
• You should be more modest in your dressing. Stop being so stylish.
  You should stop wearing Ben Shermans and Hugo Boss' perfume.
• Lucky you. You don't have to spend time and money on your hair.
  For your information, I still buy argan oil for my hair and flat iron it.
• You wear a hijab and still foul-mouthed?
  You're all covered and still foul-mouthed?

I am not condoning any immoral acts or whatsoever. It just drives me nuts when people you know, are super harsh towards hijabis when they made a mistake. It just drives me nuts. Just because a girl wears a hijab, doesn't mean they have to perfect. Yes, they do carry the name of Islam but so do the non-hijabis and so are the men who don't wear robes and turbans. The reason why a lot of pressure is put on the hijabis and men who wore robes and turbans are because we look at them and bam! We know they're Muslims. We tend to be super harsh on them whenever they screw up which is not fair. Everybody makes mistakes. If they sinned, call out against the sin not relate it to their clothes. It's freaking annoying cause it actually put me off and I was like, "I ain't joining their bandwagon." It's high time that we let our people cover their aurat the way they see fit as long as it fits the basics. By the way, modesty doesn't equal to drabby. You can still be modest and presentable at the same time. Moderation is the key. Take time to change cause it's actually a journey.

Relationship tips from a single person

People keep saying to never take relationship advice from someone who is single cause what do they know about relationships right? Well, as a single person I can tell you guys that we singles see some screw-ups in your relationships and you guys actually come to us complaining about your relationship problems. Sometimes you guys fight over the simplest of things but we try to understand lah. Here are some tips for you people in a relationship that I think would be useful.


1. Love is all about teamwork.

Love and relationships are never games. But somehow I see people treat it like so which screws the relationship. Chasing is a thrill but once you guys get together, it's no longer cat and mouse chase anymore. It's all about teamwork. Work together with your partner to make the relationship work. Treat it like you would if it's a business entity. Relationship is a partnership after all. I mean, a relationship cannot work if both parties or one party do not take it seriously and refuse to cooperate right?


2. Be proactive

Girls, don't expect guys to make the first move all the time. Guys, don't be so lazy after asking her out for a first date. If you guys want to get together, plan it. It doesn't really matter who instigate it, what matters is that plans are made. Don't complain that the other party doesn't put in an effort to get together. If you want it, ask.


3. Get your partner's free dates

If you guys work in a legal environment, especially litigation you guys know what I mean. I noticed that this thing is taken really lightly but asking for your partner's free dates in advance is important so that you guys can actually plan to spend time together. Cause seriously, constantly postponing a get-together is really irritating. People don't really mind if you guys have to postpone for some emergency, but constantly postponing it? Seriously? Better not go out at all.


4. Communicate, communicate, communicate

Some of you guys really lack communications. Communication is very important in letting your partner know what you need, what you want and stuff. People are not mind readers so if you want something, ask for it. If you feel dissatisfied or happy, voice it out. Talk it out lah. Be professional about it. Don't shout or accuse each other. Start with things like "I feel that..." so at least the other party can explain themselves without getting too defensive. Make sure you guys understand each other to avoid any misunderstandings. Cause based on my observation, it's one of the reasons relationships screw up.


5. Don't set unrealistic expectations

We girls are guilty of this, me included. I do expect my texts to be returned on time and I get agitated when my calls are unanswered and rejected and when texts don't get replied on time. I know I shouldn't get so irritated but I do have friends who took months to reply and the one who never replies yet accuses me of never keeping in touch. I don't really expect texts to be returned there and then but hey, anytime you guys are online would be fine. And I'm talking about friends of the same gender.

What I'm trying to say is that please do not expect a lot from your partner. Some of us actually need coaxing and reminders. Hate to break it to you guys about this but sometimes we have to act like a secretary. You know what, don't expect at all.


6. I don't care if you're my best friend in the whole wide world but if you cheat on your partner, I'm on their side.

I may not like your partner but if you cheat on them, I'm always on their side. I don't care what are your reasons for cheating, I will still think that you're an asshole. No offence lah. When you cheat, it doesn't only affect your partner, it affects everybody in your circle whether you notice it or not. I know this one couple (they were) who both of them are my friends and I'm closer to the dude. When I found out that he cheated on his (ex) girlfriend, I chose to side with her. Not because she's a girl or that she's younger than me. It's just I saw how her hurt she was and how it devastated her. It just makes me so angry that I fear that this thing will happen to me in the future. It gives me a twisted opinion about love and relationship altogether. Besides, scoffing at the word 'love' and 'relationship' is actually pathetic.

If you apologize, it's actually up to your partner whether to forgive you or not. To be totally honest, I would forgive my partner if he cheats on me but I will only do it once. If he cheats again, I'm burning his car. And, don't complain that your partner turns into a monster when they find out you cheated, YOU are the one that turned them into a monster that they feared they will turn.


7. Don't make promises that you can't keep

When you promise to keep in touch, please do. When you promise a second outing, do it. When you promise to wish good morning and good night everyday without fail, do it. When you promise not to hurt your partner, don't hurt them. Making promises cause the other party to expect and it hurts when you don't carry out. I have guys who after getting my number and saying that we should keep in touch never did and guys who promised a second outing never bother to even reply my text. What I'm trying to say is that screw being polite. If you don't feel like keeping in touch or go out with me for the second time, don't suggest it to me or give me ideas. It's fucking irritating. Heck! I never did. Why do you guys think I never ask for a guy's number no matter how cute or nice they are? Cause when I don't want to keep in touch with them, I just keep quiet and say bye. Yeah, I'm bitter but what do I care? I've been stabbed in the back by 4 guys (actually it's more) and their knives are still there. It doesn't really help that two of them stabbed me 50 times!!!! Guys, just stab it in the heart and be done with it, please!

Felt the burn or the stab? Good. Cause that means that it works. I blog about this topic with that intention. Don't worry. I felt it too.

Inb4: Kau single baik takyah cakap pasal relationship lah!!

Cause I will be labelled as a cheapskate tradition destroyer part 2 (special Bridezilla edition)

I know that I'll be a Bridezilla for my own wedding.

To my future husband aka Jeremy ahem Lin:

• No. We are not doing a samurai-geisha photoshoot!
• No. We're soooo not getting a fake tan!
• No. I'm not going to dressed up as a zombie.
• Yes. We can have faux flowers for our wedding.
• Yes. You can wear a suit.
• Can I wear a sari/cheongsam for your side's reception?
• Can I invite the Maccabeats over to sing at our wedding? They're cheaper than CN Blue.
• What about Lindsey Stirling?
• Josh Ruben from CollegeHumor? I mean, he's really funny when he played Mama in Precious Plum.
• Can we like take the road not taken for our honeymoon? I'm thinking of Bran's Castle in Romania.
• Can I not invite my ex-boyfriend (if I have one) over. I mean, he's an ex for a reason.
• Can we do a Linsanity handshake?
• I love you.

To the caterers:

• Can we please have bigger chicken parts?
• Can you please peel and devein the shrimps?
• Can we please have a nice bowl of hearty rice porridge and condiments instead of the usual nasi minyak?
• Can we go Arabian instead? Lamb kabsa is the new red velvet.
• Can we please have a hearty bowl of soup for everybody?
• It's telur pindang or telur pindang. But, tea eggs are fine too.Scratch that. Let's go for a jar of honey or a bag full of candies instead.
• Can we please have chocolate cake with chocolate frosting?
• Can the cake please be just one-tier? I mean, not everybody's going to eat it.
• Delicious food, guys. Good job!

To the wedding dress boutique owners:

• Can I wear my wedding dress to other functions?
• Can we please keep beadings and sequins to a minimal?
• No, I am not going to wear a Marie Antionette inspired gown. I mean, I only have a little neck.
• Do I look fat and disproportionate in this dress?
• Can I have a boho-inspired peasant dress instead like the one I meant to write for Alexa and Peter's wedding for my up and coming fiction?
• I want a black suit for my husband. Not gray, not striped. Not medieval inspired either unless our wedding is Halloween themed.
• No. I'm not going to wear the braless, backless, sleeveless and skimpy wedding dresses.
• Can I please have a dress that says 'sweet' instead of 'hot'?
• Thank you.

To the guests:

• No alcohol please. This is a wedding, not a pub.
• We will not be held responsible for any injury, death, broken bones, severed body parts, blood spillage, not being able to catch the bouquet during bouquet toss, fights, breakups, riots, mutiny, insanity or Linsanity, infection, zombie apocalypse, saseng fans syndrome and everything that you can expect a typical wedding's fuck-ups.
• Please take care of your children. There are fragile things here.
• No fighting.
• No, we ain't playing Crazy Frog and Avicii. This is a wedding, not a rave.
• Thank you for coming.

To our families:

• No fighting.
• Can we please not have a tepung tawar and any of those renjis-renjis stuff?
• You wanna invite the whole clan???? How are we going to pay for that?????
• You know the song that goes like: Dia datang (insert beat) dengan lenggang lingguknya? We ain't playing that.
• Our theme is white or cream. Full stop.

Past Me vs Present Me part 1

I'm 25 going to be 26 so yeah I'm old. Yayness!!!


Since I'm older and somewhat wiser (?), I noticed that I've changed... a lot. Past me would be very shocked to see the present me and the present me would be just winking at past me and said that this is real. As you move on to a new place or a new surrounding, your social circle change and so are your perspective and opinions. I don't think that it's wrong. So, here are the list of my perspective during my teens and early 20s and my perspective now.

1. Criteria of an ideal boyfriend/husband
Past me: I want a big brother figure. Someone who can take care of me. Someone who will tell me to stay out of trouble and someone who controls me a bit. Someone who cares about me and would scold me whenever I mess up. Someone who can guide me to the right path. Someone who can mould me to be perfect and good. Someone who will spoil me and dotes on me and treats me like a little girl. Someone who will protect and support me at all times.

Present me: Someone who I can be myself with. Someone who doesn't control me. Someone who recognizes me as an individual. Someone who respects and understand my life choices despite not really agreeable with it. Someone who will support me and my decisions even though my decisions are dumb and will get me in trouble. Someone who is willing to work together to strengthen our bond. Someone who will trust that despite me getting myself into problems and trouble, I can get myself out. Someone who acknowledge that I'm an independent woman. Someone who will tell me to keep an eye on my goals and go for it. Someone who stand by me and tell me that I can do it no matter how impossible and stupid my goals are. Someone who respects my opinion and will not shoot me down. Someone who is open-minded.

2. Life
Past me: I can't make it alone. I want someone by my side. I need someone to guide me. I need to be rescued. I'm a damsel in distress.

Present me: I'm independent. I have talents and intelligence that God gives me. I can make it. I can do it. The one who will rescue me is me. I'm a fighter.

3. Opinions
Past me: They are older and more experienced than me so they are right and I'm wrong.

Present me: Some are right, some are wrong. Doesn't mean that I'm young and have different opinions doesn't mean that I'm wrong.

4. On myself
Past me: I have to be a good girl. I have to be graceful, gentle, docile, obedient and nice.

Present me: I have to be a good girl and at the same time ambitious, hardworking, smart, gentle yet fierce, obedient yet stubborn and nice.

5. About people
Past me: I want everybody to like me even though I don't like them.

Present me: I don't want to be a people pleaser. It's really exhausting. I like food. Food is good.

6. To those who shoots down my opinions
Past me: They must have been right. Why do I even think about it?

Present me: This is my opinion so please suck it up!

7. When people tells me on how I should live my life (in a forceful way)
Past me: You're right. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Present me: Dude! My parents don't even do that to me so what makes you think that YOU have the authority to do that???

8. When thinking on whether to dump or keep someone who used to help you but now just plain toxic and makes me miserable. Period.
Past me: They helped me in the past and what would I be without them. I know that they make me miserable now and trying to control me but dumping them makes me look like an ingrate. Plus, who will donate their organ or love me or visit my grave?

Present me: Thank you for helping me in the past but you have to go. Me, putuskan silaturrahim? Yeah, I am. But, hey. I have to get rid of bad energy to save myself.

9. When people use religion for their own benefits
Past me: I can't even detect it. I genuinely thought that they're right.

Present me: Seriously, guys? Seriously? Go away!

10. When people unceremoniously dump me
Past me: Can we please reach a settlement?

Present me: Whatever. Please get out of my sight.

11. When people pushes me to buy things
Past me: Okay. I'll buy it.

Present me: Get out of my way!

12. On love and relationships
Past me: I have to wait for him to make the first move. I can't make the first move. It's going to make me feel cheap.

Present me: If I want it, I'll work to get it. Life ain't a fairytale. It doesn't matter who makes the first move, what matters is that the first move is made.

13. On life.
Past me: Feel free to intervene my life and shield me from making mistakes cause I don't want to make mistakes (begrudgingly). Since you're older than me, despite my parents say that it's my choice Imma let you decide for me.

Present me: My life, my choice, my mistake, my fight, my journey. You may advise, you may caution but the moment you try to force me and control me, sayonara ******!!!

14. On information stumbled upon (including the ones that are related to religion)
Past me: Oh my God! They're right!

Present me: Verify, verify, verify.

Write my life: 2013 in a nutshell

In a galaxy not so far away not a long time ago, there is this girl who was about to embark on a journey to discover the world. Little did she know that she is not there to discover the world. She is there to discover herself.

Thumbs up if you've been playing Star Wars theme song in your head while reading this.

2013 has been a challenging year for me. Not only that it marks my journey in the working world, it marks my journey as an independent person. For the past year, here's what I've experienced and learned:

Experiences:

1. I actually gone to a blind date. It was okay lah to sum it up. If I had the opportunity to do it again (regardless with the same person or different person), I would.
2. I got a job at a law firm in Bukit Damansara, Jayadeep Hari & Jamil. I loved it the first time I set foot in that office as a pupil-in-chambers.
3. Graduated from uni. Period.
4. I've been through different heartbreaks. They hurt in their own ways but hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
5. Drove to Seremban Court alone for a case management.
6. Went to Phuket and snorkelled at Phi Phi Island.
7. I screwed up on one file that almost got the whole firm in trouble.
8. Being a chairperson for a monthly staff meeting ALONE.
9. I've lost some friends and gained some new ones.
10. Met someone who I never expected to meet at all.
11. Participated in White Ribbon Campaign and joined the 3km walk to raise awareness to end violence against women.

What I've learned:

1. Heartbreaks will hurt you and crush you but it won't kill you. If you persevere enough, you'll get out of it.
2. You can wish for the person who broke your heart well even though at the same you want to punch that motherfucker in the face.
3. It's okay to cry, especially when everything is confusing and overwhelming for you.
4. It doesn't really matter that you made a mistake. The most important thing is: what's your plan to get out of it?
5. Mistakes at the same time can also lead to new opportunities.
6. It's okay to be scared and jaded of the past. You're only human.
7. Over-thinking and over-analyzing drains your energy.
8. There will be people who don't understand you. Don't be surprised if it's someone that you cared about for a long time.
9. Your life, your choices, your tests, your mistakes, your fight, your journey, your answers are definitely nobody's business.
10. Your past will haunt you and affect your present and future.
11. Don't let anybody tell you what you can and cannot do.
12. Don't let anybody tell you what should and shouldn't be your opinion.
13. First time is the hardest but you'll get the hang of it.
14. Letting go is hard and painful but necessary.
15. Despite of all the craziness, everything will be okay.
16. Contrary to popular beliefs, sometimes office colleagues can be BFFs.
17. Confess your love and take the plunge.
18. The past will haunt you like mad and drives you insane.
19. The future is scary but it can't be that bad. Can it?
20. The world is sad. Pathetic even but that doesn't mean you have to.
21. If someone shoots down your opinion and refuse to listen to your reasoning or justify you to force into accepting their opinion, it doesn't really matter if that person is looking out for you or cares about you or loves you, just drop them. Once they take away your voice, you ain't got anything and it also shows lack of respect.
22. People do and say crazy things when they love.
23. It's okay to be a little crazy.
24. Brace yourself for emotional and mental bullying cause there are lots of it.
25. Despite other people telling you otherwise, as long as you don't do anything against your faith, conscience or religion, chances are you don't need to be saved.
26. There is such thing as being a stationeryholic.
27. If someone tries to usurp your family's position (ie: reprimanding and nagging at you for either staying back late or delayed your meals when your parents are cool with it cause they know your reasons), kick them out.
28. You gotta do what you gotta do even if it means coming to the office on weekends to chase deadlines.
29. When reviewing your past, there are some moments that you deemed as awkward. Be grateful that it crossed your mind.
30. There will be someone in your life who you ask yourself why did they stay in your life when they could just leave.
31. You will have different opinions about stuff. Don't let the others decide what you should belief.
32. Have confidence in your faith.
33. There are people that had, currently and will be insulting your intelligence.
34. Don't let your past prevents you from living in the present and future.
35. Verify, verify and verify.
36. Carpe diem.

The Man Behind the Mustache

Okay. Recently a lot of attention have been around this guy lately.



Meet Muhammad Azwan Mohd Nor aka Wak Doyok.
I have no idea why he uses the name Wak Doyok as his noms de guerre. You have have to ask him that. But there's something about him that makes me want to get to know him more. Yeah. I know that he's the co-founder of an online store called the Garment. Okay, the name of the store sounds vague. It only tells you that they sell clothes (duh!) but it makes me want to check it out and makes me wonder about stuff like what do they sell, is it available for girls, do they have attractive price range, do they have a membership program or something.

My sources (yeah, right) tell me that this 33-year-old fashion designer and entrepreneur is actually an engineering graduate from Germany (I like). He's been interested in fashion ever a boutique called Ben Sherman opened in Malaysia.

Personally, I think this guy is a freaking socialite. I mean, look at his Instagram profile! There are hundreds of photos of him in different events. There are photos of him everywhere! Makes me think, who the hell help him take his selfies. I need that person to help me take selfies (despite me not being a selfie taker). I wanna look good in photos too.

Anyway, jokes aside. I really want to get to know this guy. His rise to fame (?) is so sudden (or chambering life totally sucked my social life dry) that I find him enigmatic. I don't really just want to know Wak Doyok. I want to know the man behind Wak Doyok. The man behind the mustache. I want to get to know him as in personally. I don't want to know about how he came about being in the fashion industry. I can basically read it up on the net. I want to know what makes him choose fashion despite being an engineering grad. I want to know what drives him and what people around him said when he first started out. I want to get to know Muhammad Azwan bin Mohd Nor. And, I bet you guys want to get to know him too.

PS #1: He looks quite cute in that mustache and beard of his. It makes me want to speak English in a British accent and dress up like a 19th century British lady.

PS #2: I don't have a crush on him, okay. I still have Linsanity bug in me.

PS #3: Wang Lee Hom is married T-T Congrats, man!

PS #4: DO you think he can give me some fashion tips?

How to make a hipster music video

I watched this video called How to Write a Hipster Rock Anthem by BuzzFeed. It is sooo hilarious and catchy that I decided to make a list on how to make a hipster music video.

Below is the said music video, folks.



So on to the how-tos...

Step 1: Get scruffy/not-so good looking but still decent looking dudes
Hipsters take pride in their looks in a way that they give an impression that they don't (what?). Hence the scruffy/I-don't-take-care-of-my-appearance appearance.

I don't know what to write about girls. Any ideas?

Step 2: Location, location, location
To have a perfect hipster music video, location plays an important part. All time favourite hipster location would be: the garden, the attic, an empty room with musical instruments and stuff, a normal music video set which normally don't have anything but instruments, a run-down place and some random place that don't make sense.

Step 3: Filters
Most hipster music videos have filter like you're taking a picture using a lomo camera. It's like those Instagram photo effects. It is to give a retro/vintage feel to the video.

Step 4: Look really stoned, bored and zombified
Notice how the people in hipster music videos look? Yes! They either look bored, stoned or zombified (or even hypnotized). You can choose to make them stand or sit. And sing like you're super tired like you're about to faint.

Step 3: Props
Have something vintage such as vinyl record players, old telephones, lomo cameras or you guys can go totally steampunk (minus the class).

Step 4: Have san serif fonts
If you wanna add texts to the music video, be sure to use sans serif. Hispters are (sometimes) minimalists after all(?)

Step 5: Outfits
Make sure you dress your actors up in vintage clothes or clothes that look like they come from the thrift shop or Urban Outfitters. Oh, and Converse really suit the whole hipsteresque concept. Bonus point: Stain/tie-dye the outfits.

Step 6: Do random movements
Get your actors to do random movements such as run around, laugh or dance like they're high on drugs (even though they're not).

Step 7: Make sure the singers do weird moves
Get the lead singer to do weird movements while singing but make sure it suits the beat of the song.

So, there you have it. 7 easy steps to make your very own hipster music video. If you guys have any hipster music video of your own to show me, you guys can post your links on the comment below. Have a nice day.

Cheers!

These are all jokes, not reality.

Apa yang kau takutkan

Apa yang kau takutkan

Apa yang kau takutkan?

Adakah kau takut kau takde masa depan?

Atau kau takut sebab kau tak boleh foresee apa yang akan terjadi?

Adakah kau takut orang tu dump kau?

Atau kau takut yang apa yang kau usahakan itu sia-sia belaka?

Adakah kau takut miskin?

Atau kau takut nampak miskin?

Adakah kau takut take the next step?

Atau kau takut bersusah-payah?

Adakah kau takut hasil nukilan kau tak dapat sambutan?

Atau kau takut hasil nukilan kau diherdik dan dicaci oleh orang ramai?

Adakah kau takut kau gagal?

Atau kau takut diketawakan atas kegagalan kau itu?

Adakah kau takut akan suasana baru?

Atau kau takut bahawa takkan ada safety net untuk kau?

Adakah kau takut untuk go out of major?

Atau kau takut dikritik hebat oleh masyarakat akan pilihan kau?

Adakah kau takut untuk berkawan?

Atau kau takut dikhianati (lagi)?

Adakah kau takut dikecewakan?

Atau kau takut yang kau mengecewakan?

Adakah kau takut bersuara?

Atau kau takut suara kau tu akan membunuh kau?

Adakah kau takut melakukan kesilapan?

Atau kau takut kesilapan itu akan menghantui kau?

Adakah kau takut untuk bercinta?

Atau takut yang cinta itu akan membunuh kau?

Adakah kau takut mati?

Atau kau takut whether you did something right before your death?

Bagitau aku

Apa yang kau takutkan sebenarnya........

Why I think playing hard to get is pointless

Since I'm a girl, people have always been giving me advice that I should not show to a guy that I like that I'm desperate for him and I must play hard to get. Needless to say, I've gotten so good at it that my play hard to get becomes play impossible to get and most of the time, play don't even want to get. You get my drift. That would have worked when I'm young, wild, broke and still in uni. Now that I'm still young, wild and have a job, I find playing hard to get is pointless. Here's why:

• I am really pressed for time. I have work to do: research, opinions, cause papers and status updates to do. Plus,I have meetings to attend. By the time I'm done with those, I just want to rest and recharge so I can do more work.
• I don't have the energy. I may not be old but hey, I need energy to do other stuff than burdening some dude who digs me just to show I'm desirable.
• I'm not desirable. Okay, maybe some dudes dig me (I don't know who and it's best that I don't). It's just that I don't want guys to see me as something to compete for. That's creepy. I'm a lawyer-in-training, not a Victoria Secret Angel wannabe.
• I don't know about you guys but playing hard to get sends a message that you're not serious. If you're really serious, you won't treat it like a game.
• I'm tired. After I get back from work or stuff, I want to rest.
• I have better things to do like work, sleep, watch TV, go shopping or hangout at mamak stalls eating parathas with curry.
• If I want to be chased, I'll get a few people to dress up like zombies and chase me.
• If I want thrill, I'd ride a roller coaster or go on a spontaneous trip to Kazakhstan.
• If I have to choose between being stuck in Romania or playing hard to get, I'd choose being stuck in Romania anytime. And, I don't even speak Romanian.
• I'm 25, not 22 when playing hard to get is actually fun.
• I believe that if you want something, go get it. I mean, you don't pretend that you don't want a job that you've been wanting right? How dumb is that?
• There are big differences between being straight and direct and plain old desperate. Being straight and direct is telling a guy/girl that you like him. Being desperate is threatening to kill his/her pet hamster if he/she don't like you back, or give up your virginity hoping they stay (they don't).
• Replying a text promptly shows that you're efficient and you respect the sender. Purposely waiting for hours before replying a text is pretentious. (At least when I say that I left my phone in my handbag, it was ACTUALLY in my handbag)
• If I don't like that guy, I'll just turn him down. End of story.
• I want a serious relationship, not a game.
• A blowoff is a blowoff.
• While it's annoying that girls play hard to get, it is more annoying when guys do it. Seriously? What for?
• It can backfire. The person might think you're not into them or if they see through your game, they'll drop you and say, "Fuck it! I'm too old for this crap."
• I have plans and goals. Playing hard to get is not one of them.
• Show to them you're desirable. Bitch please. No matter how hard you show to the world how desirable you are, a 25 year old beat up Proton Saga will always be more desirable than you.
• I may not really know what I want but I know what I don't want. Playing hard to get.
• I'm lazy. If you don't want to run, don't make them chase.

This is purely my personal opinion. I don't mean to offend anyone. If I do, sorry. Not sorry! Yes, I sound like a total snob. Yes, I sound as if I'm constantly busy without thinking other people are not. The truth is, I know that there are other people more tired and busier than me. I'm not just going to ignore my feelings just because there are people out there who somehow feels more tired and busier than me. It's not going to make me feel less tired. It just makes me feel that I'm nothing and my feelings don't matter. No offence, I don't really want to live in resentment.

I don't care about what people said about making a guy put in more effort just to get me. Come on, think about it. One simple text might take three days just to compose and send. Aku nak call hospital untuk set up appointment pun ambik masa hanya untuk call. It's excruciating to make the first move and I'm not talking about love alone. About anything lah. Nak hantar resume untuk mintak kerja pun takes effort and courage. Bukan senang nak buat. I mean, orang penat-penat bagitau feelings dia kat kau, kau pulak konon nak tunjuk ramai nak kat kau dan kau tak desperate, kau mulalah play hard to get bagai such as ambik masa berjam-jam untuk reply text. Kalau betul-betul tak sudi, takpe lah jugak. Kalau sudi tapi sengaja nak bagi dia keluar effort lebih, baik tak payah lah. Love and relationship for me is not a game. I don't main tarik tali or chase around. I treat it like work and being in a relationship requires teamwork and commitment. And, it's a two-way effort. Kalau aku jadi lelaki and aku tengok perempuan tu macam nak-tak nak je, aku angkat kaki. I'll find someone who appreciates me more. Fikir-fikir lah balil, sama-sama manusia. Sama-sama ada feelings and limitations. You're scared, we get it. So are they.

Cause I will be labelled as a cheapskate tradition destroyer

Since there are lots of weddings and engagements going on amongst my circle of friends, I figure that since I have no job, no life and no boyfriend, why don't I make a list of my dream engagement and wedding.

For my engagement:

• Just bring the ring because that's the reason why you guys are here in the first place
• Please keep it in a durable, no-frill container that fits nicely in your pocket
• Hantaran is negotiable. It depends on how much you're willing to pay without taking up a loan and living on Maggi all year long. I don't measure myself with money
• No balas pantun please. I want to keep it as simple as possible
• No dulang-dulang hantaran. Save that for the akad nikah (solemnization)
• Do not overdress. It ain't official yet.

For my (ahem, our) wedding:

• The theme is either white or cream. No offence, that red baju melayu looks really great on you during Eid but on our wedding, it made me cringe.
• A simple akad nikah would do. Either in my house or at the masjid. Preferably at the masjid cause can fit many people and we can like solat berjemaah while we're at it
• To miss or mrs makeup artist: DO NOT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A DRAG QUEEN PLEASE
• No falsies and plucking my eyebrows either
• Simple makeup will do lah. I just want to look pretty and fresh, not like a children's colouring book
• Please keep hijab styling as simple and sweet as possible. I want to be able to breathe
• Reception is optional
• If there is any reception: no tepung tawar and no songs from Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Kesha and Katy Perry shall be played. Lifehouse is approved
• To the caterers: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE PEEL AND DEVEIN THE PRAWNS. I know peeled and deveined prawns ain't pretty but please, I don't want any incident of a prawn jumping out the dining table. The same rule applies to other crustaceans as well. However, I don't really mind raw oysters with shells intact.
• To our family: No fighting, no badmouthing, no usurping the ceremony or any acts that amounted to a wedding coup d etat
• To the jurunikah: please go easy on him. He's nervous
• Dulang hantaran rules: desserts are either to be fresh fruits or chocolates. No cheesecakes. Please make sure you know the size of my clothes and shoes. No flashy patterns like those designer brands like to put. For cosmetics and skincare: please know my skin and hair type and skin tone
• Better yet, scrap the dulang hantaran and use that money for a romantic getaway
• You know what, scrap the getaway too. Save it for the house instead
• Oh yeah. Card rules: Keep the design minimal and simple. Not to mention, unscented

So, yeah. That's all so far. Cheers!