Cause I will be labelled as a cheapskate tradition destroyer part 3 (trendsetter edition)

Yoyoyo fellas! It's been awhile since I update this space. Now it's time for 'Cause I will be labelled as a cheapskate tradition destroyer' series. Part 1 was for the general stuff. Part 2 was for the special Bridezilla edition. Now Part 3 is for the trendsetter edition.

:: This is the part where we throw colorful confettis and play party horns ::

I was blogwalking one day browsing through Facebook and stumbled upon my friend's blog post that he shared on Facebook. His name is Rizal Yaakub and y'all can view his entry here. I really find his post interesting that I'm inspired to write a response post to it. I ain't gonna critic his post. Since he's talking about wedding trends, I figure that some trends are so cliche and why don't I make my own trend. Cool huh?

1. Bachelorette party
   The key focus of this party is to celebrate freedom (and loss of it). It must consist of the things that the bride-to-be likes. In my case, my party gotta have chocolates, laughter, music, dance and me getting a henna tattoo of a dragon at the back of my lower waist. In fact, everybody's getting a henna tattoo. And it gotta be private as in a small group of 6 to 7 girls getting together and enjoy ourselves as you know single people. And, Adrien Brody movie marathon. And it gotta be in a private place where there's lots of privacy. And at the same time, cheap. Kartika Sari party at my house yo!

2. Post-wedding photoshoots
   I'm going to borrow someone's DSLR and a super high mega pixel camera phone and let them shoot away. I just have to feed them good food and butt kiss them now and then. PS: Butt kiss means boost their ego by complimenting excessively. Okay. Maybe I'll have to pay for the paper and the printer (and the ink). Dude, I'm slightly old-fashioned.

3. Anniversary dinners
   It has to be done at home where there's only two of us cause I need an excuse to wear LBD/LWD/L-insertanycolour-D. Cause I wear hijab already, I ain't gonna wear short dresses in public. Ain't nobody got balls for that!

4. Engagement ceremony/get-together
   This involves me wire-tapping my dad and/or male relatives so that I can hear how they negotiate me cause I'm an interested party. I also can act as an observer to observe the setting. This will only be a low key setting whereby only immediate family members from both sides are to attend. No dulang hantarans yet cause it ain't official yet. It's GST season. Save your money!

5. Wedding discussion meeting
   Military style background music are to be played at all times. Hey, have you been to a wedding? It sometimes feels like you're in an imaginary unrealistic battlefield cause you're too scared/unsuitable for the real thing. I blame my anxiety.

That's all I guess. I'll put more later if I have the chance.

Cheers.

Relationship tips from a single person

People keep saying to never take relationship advice from someone who is single cause what do they know about relationships right? Well, as a single person I can tell you guys that we singles see some screw-ups in your relationships and you guys actually come to us complaining about your relationship problems. Sometimes you guys fight over the simplest of things but we try to understand lah. Here are some tips for you people in a relationship that I think would be useful.


1. Love is all about teamwork.

Love and relationships are never games. But somehow I see people treat it like so which screws the relationship. Chasing is a thrill but once you guys get together, it's no longer cat and mouse chase anymore. It's all about teamwork. Work together with your partner to make the relationship work. Treat it like you would if it's a business entity. Relationship is a partnership after all. I mean, a relationship cannot work if both parties or one party do not take it seriously and refuse to cooperate right?


2. Be proactive

Girls, don't expect guys to make the first move all the time. Guys, don't be so lazy after asking her out for a first date. If you guys want to get together, plan it. It doesn't really matter who instigate it, what matters is that plans are made. Don't complain that the other party doesn't put in an effort to get together. If you want it, ask.


3. Get your partner's free dates

If you guys work in a legal environment, especially litigation you guys know what I mean. I noticed that this thing is taken really lightly but asking for your partner's free dates in advance is important so that you guys can actually plan to spend time together. Cause seriously, constantly postponing a get-together is really irritating. People don't really mind if you guys have to postpone for some emergency, but constantly postponing it? Seriously? Better not go out at all.


4. Communicate, communicate, communicate

Some of you guys really lack communications. Communication is very important in letting your partner know what you need, what you want and stuff. People are not mind readers so if you want something, ask for it. If you feel dissatisfied or happy, voice it out. Talk it out lah. Be professional about it. Don't shout or accuse each other. Start with things like "I feel that..." so at least the other party can explain themselves without getting too defensive. Make sure you guys understand each other to avoid any misunderstandings. Cause based on my observation, it's one of the reasons relationships screw up.


5. Don't set unrealistic expectations

We girls are guilty of this, me included. I do expect my texts to be returned on time and I get agitated when my calls are unanswered and rejected and when texts don't get replied on time. I know I shouldn't get so irritated but I do have friends who took months to reply and the one who never replies yet accuses me of never keeping in touch. I don't really expect texts to be returned there and then but hey, anytime you guys are online would be fine. And I'm talking about friends of the same gender.

What I'm trying to say is that please do not expect a lot from your partner. Some of us actually need coaxing and reminders. Hate to break it to you guys about this but sometimes we have to act like a secretary. You know what, don't expect at all.


6. I don't care if you're my best friend in the whole wide world but if you cheat on your partner, I'm on their side.

I may not like your partner but if you cheat on them, I'm always on their side. I don't care what are your reasons for cheating, I will still think that you're an asshole. No offence lah. When you cheat, it doesn't only affect your partner, it affects everybody in your circle whether you notice it or not. I know this one couple (they were) who both of them are my friends and I'm closer to the dude. When I found out that he cheated on his (ex) girlfriend, I chose to side with her. Not because she's a girl or that she's younger than me. It's just I saw how her hurt she was and how it devastated her. It just makes me so angry that I fear that this thing will happen to me in the future. It gives me a twisted opinion about love and relationship altogether. Besides, scoffing at the word 'love' and 'relationship' is actually pathetic.

If you apologize, it's actually up to your partner whether to forgive you or not. To be totally honest, I would forgive my partner if he cheats on me but I will only do it once. If he cheats again, I'm burning his car. And, don't complain that your partner turns into a monster when they find out you cheated, YOU are the one that turned them into a monster that they feared they will turn.


7. Don't make promises that you can't keep

When you promise to keep in touch, please do. When you promise a second outing, do it. When you promise to wish good morning and good night everyday without fail, do it. When you promise not to hurt your partner, don't hurt them. Making promises cause the other party to expect and it hurts when you don't carry out. I have guys who after getting my number and saying that we should keep in touch never did and guys who promised a second outing never bother to even reply my text. What I'm trying to say is that screw being polite. If you don't feel like keeping in touch or go out with me for the second time, don't suggest it to me or give me ideas. It's fucking irritating. Heck! I never did. Why do you guys think I never ask for a guy's number no matter how cute or nice they are? Cause when I don't want to keep in touch with them, I just keep quiet and say bye. Yeah, I'm bitter but what do I care? I've been stabbed in the back by 4 guys (actually it's more) and their knives are still there. It doesn't really help that two of them stabbed me 50 times!!!! Guys, just stab it in the heart and be done with it, please!

Felt the burn or the stab? Good. Cause that means that it works. I blog about this topic with that intention. Don't worry. I felt it too.

Inb4: Kau single baik takyah cakap pasal relationship lah!!

Past Me vs Present Me part 1

I'm 25 going to be 26 so yeah I'm old. Yayness!!!


Since I'm older and somewhat wiser (?), I noticed that I've changed... a lot. Past me would be very shocked to see the present me and the present me would be just winking at past me and said that this is real. As you move on to a new place or a new surrounding, your social circle change and so are your perspective and opinions. I don't think that it's wrong. So, here are the list of my perspective during my teens and early 20s and my perspective now.

1. Criteria of an ideal boyfriend/husband
Past me: I want a big brother figure. Someone who can take care of me. Someone who will tell me to stay out of trouble and someone who controls me a bit. Someone who cares about me and would scold me whenever I mess up. Someone who can guide me to the right path. Someone who can mould me to be perfect and good. Someone who will spoil me and dotes on me and treats me like a little girl. Someone who will protect and support me at all times.

Present me: Someone who I can be myself with. Someone who doesn't control me. Someone who recognizes me as an individual. Someone who respects and understand my life choices despite not really agreeable with it. Someone who will support me and my decisions even though my decisions are dumb and will get me in trouble. Someone who is willing to work together to strengthen our bond. Someone who will trust that despite me getting myself into problems and trouble, I can get myself out. Someone who acknowledge that I'm an independent woman. Someone who will tell me to keep an eye on my goals and go for it. Someone who stand by me and tell me that I can do it no matter how impossible and stupid my goals are. Someone who respects my opinion and will not shoot me down. Someone who is open-minded.

2. Life
Past me: I can't make it alone. I want someone by my side. I need someone to guide me. I need to be rescued. I'm a damsel in distress.

Present me: I'm independent. I have talents and intelligence that God gives me. I can make it. I can do it. The one who will rescue me is me. I'm a fighter.

3. Opinions
Past me: They are older and more experienced than me so they are right and I'm wrong.

Present me: Some are right, some are wrong. Doesn't mean that I'm young and have different opinions doesn't mean that I'm wrong.

4. On myself
Past me: I have to be a good girl. I have to be graceful, gentle, docile, obedient and nice.

Present me: I have to be a good girl and at the same time ambitious, hardworking, smart, gentle yet fierce, obedient yet stubborn and nice.

5. About people
Past me: I want everybody to like me even though I don't like them.

Present me: I don't want to be a people pleaser. It's really exhausting. I like food. Food is good.

6. To those who shoots down my opinions
Past me: They must have been right. Why do I even think about it?

Present me: This is my opinion so please suck it up!

7. When people tells me on how I should live my life (in a forceful way)
Past me: You're right. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Present me: Dude! My parents don't even do that to me so what makes you think that YOU have the authority to do that???

8. When thinking on whether to dump or keep someone who used to help you but now just plain toxic and makes me miserable. Period.
Past me: They helped me in the past and what would I be without them. I know that they make me miserable now and trying to control me but dumping them makes me look like an ingrate. Plus, who will donate their organ or love me or visit my grave?

Present me: Thank you for helping me in the past but you have to go. Me, putuskan silaturrahim? Yeah, I am. But, hey. I have to get rid of bad energy to save myself.

9. When people use religion for their own benefits
Past me: I can't even detect it. I genuinely thought that they're right.

Present me: Seriously, guys? Seriously? Go away!

10. When people unceremoniously dump me
Past me: Can we please reach a settlement?

Present me: Whatever. Please get out of my sight.

11. When people pushes me to buy things
Past me: Okay. I'll buy it.

Present me: Get out of my way!

12. On love and relationships
Past me: I have to wait for him to make the first move. I can't make the first move. It's going to make me feel cheap.

Present me: If I want it, I'll work to get it. Life ain't a fairytale. It doesn't matter who makes the first move, what matters is that the first move is made.

13. On life.
Past me: Feel free to intervene my life and shield me from making mistakes cause I don't want to make mistakes (begrudgingly). Since you're older than me, despite my parents say that it's my choice Imma let you decide for me.

Present me: My life, my choice, my mistake, my fight, my journey. You may advise, you may caution but the moment you try to force me and control me, sayonara ******!!!

14. On information stumbled upon (including the ones that are related to religion)
Past me: Oh my God! They're right!

Present me: Verify, verify, verify.

Of materialism

There was a video circulating around Facebook about how women look at men.



While some glorify the video as reality, others dismiss it as mere generalization. Both of them are right. It is a sad reality that we're facing today. However, not many people know why it happens.

This thing is taught, babe. Nuff said. Can't really blame people who succumb to materialism, regardless of age, gender, ethnicity and location. It is taught. To girls, especially. Believe me. I have the first hand experience.

Our school counselor once said that love would not suffice to survive in this world. Everything is money. Yes, I agree. Money is important to ensure survival in the modern world.

Then, our KH (living skills) teacher who is a man once told us girls that we have to ask a man three questions.

1. Do they have any cash?
2. Do they have a car?
3. Do they have a house?

Then, our parents and relatives tend to bombard us with sayings such as:

"Don't go for someone poor."
"Get someone with a stable job that can feed you."

And then, comes the dowry issue. Parents tend to set really high amount of dowry on their daughters, sometimes too unrealistic for the guys to meet. The guys have to work his butt off, fast for a few months (sometimes years) and they even have to take up bank loans (like seriously) for it. And, for what? For a grand wedding that only lasts a few hours that will be attended by hundreds of guests that we don't even know? Then, the next thing you know divorce may follow suit. Well, one of the most common grounds for divorce is financial difficulties. I mean, come on. Even family ties got broken off because of money.

Don't forget poverty. Sometimes (most of the time), poverty do play a part in instilling materialism in us. I mean, just watch the movie Pisau Cukur (Gold Digger) and Alice in Cheongdam-dong. Look at how Bella and Se Kyung manipulate their way just to snag a rich man to help them out of poverty. And, I've always thought and was taught that riches corrupt people. Turns out poverty corrupts people too. Sad reality ain't it?

What I'm trying to say is this: Yes, materialism is taught. Taught by family members, school, the media and the society. So, is it really our fault that we succumb to the pressure of materialism? Somewhat since we can always fight against it. It's good to be realistic but that doesn't mean that we should resort to materialism.

#sarcasm Aku perempuan so aku kena cakap pasal benda yang perempuan selalu cakap seperti fashion, masak-masak, kahwin and makeup. Hahaha!!!

Ramadhan Review Special: Arranged

Synopsis

Two young women — one an Orthodox Jew, the other Muslim — meet and become friends as first-year teachers at a public school in Brooklyn. Over the course of the year they learn they share much in common, not least of which is that they are both going through arranged marriages.

This film is actually based on a true story of an Orthodox Jewish woman named Yuta Silverman who is also an executive producer of this film.

The film started out in the library of a public school where first year teachers had an ice breaking session. Nasira Khalidi, a Muslim of Syrian descent was up first. Followed by an Orthodox Jew Rochel (pronounced: Ro-Hel) Mashenberg. At first, they didn't talk to each other. Their friendship began when some students began to make some prejudicial remarks towards them. Nasira was teaching the class while Rochel was there to assist a blind student in that class as Rochel specialized in special children education and they were called to Principal Jacoby's office because of that. Another thing that strengthen their friendship is that both of them are going through the process of arranged marriage hence the title). Rochel went through a process called sadkhan which involves an arranged date set up by the matchmaker while Nasira went through the usual family coming to her house to meet her family. What I like about this move is that they portray Nasira's family as non-judgmental and not oppressive. Contrary to what's been reported by Human Rights Watch, Amnesty International and whatnots, when it comes to arranged marriage, both Nasira's parents did not force her to enter into arranged marriage. They actually want what's best for Nasira and took into account of Nasira's personal opinion. And, when Nasira finally found a match, they gave their blessings seeing how happy Nasira is. Meanwhile, Rochel was struggling in meeting a match of her own. Basically, she was pressured by her family to get married quickly (reminds you guys of something right?) in order to avoid diminished prospects of her sister Naomi.

On another note, this film also criticizes the liberalists and the secularists. For example, Principal Jacoby who is a secular Jew felt that it was her job to modernize both Nasira and Rochel which I think is unnecessary. In some way, I felt that Jacoby was disrespectful of both of their culture and try to force her beliefs to them.

In my opinion, this film is worth a watch. It is a feel good romantic comedy film with a hint of culture. Yes, you guys get to learn some culture, especially when it comes to Orthodox Jewish culture. This film also portrays that people can be modern and keep up with the current time while adhering to their faiths at the same time.

This film shows how individual relationships can transcend age-old divisions and shows that in the search for love, true friends know best.

Rating: 4.5/5

Now, on to the trailer:



Starring: Zoe Lister-Jones, Francis Benhamou, Doris Belack and Mimi Lieber.

For more info, head on to Arranged Official Website

Credits to Cicala Film Works on Youtube

My lecturer once told me....

If someone insults/degrades Islam, please don't get too emotional.

Kalau orang kutuk/hina Islam, jangan cepat melatah.

Instead, just calmly and diplomatically explain to them of their misconceptions.

For example:
You told me that you don't like war but you have to support it cause your brother's in it.
You know how stupid that sounds.
Well, if your brother fell into the sewer, are you going to stand and say, "Hell yeah! I support this sewer. He can die but he has to stay."

Lagi kau rage, lagi banyak lah modal yang diorang dapat. That actually gives them reasons to insult Islam more.

What I'm trying to say: Advise, don't fight. With advising, you can be sarcastic while you're at it.

Budaya print screen (kau nak mengeji ke nak menyedarkan? part 2)

Hi, this is not Diyana blogging. This is Jason, her friend. Basically, this post is bound to offend (that's why she summoned me instead). It was this: she feels that she's too nice to post angry post on Blogger (but she has nooo problems whatsoever posting them on LJ). Apparently, she has a new phobia next to ophidiophobia (snakes) and guyphobia (boys) she has a new one: printscreenophobia. Printscreenphobia is refusal to post status, blogs or tweets fearing that some irresponsible idiots would print screen it thinking it's controversial and share it to the public hoping it will go viral.

She seemed to take it pretty hard. Sekejap post, sekejap delete. Sekejap post, sekejap delete. Kalau publish pun, private kan. Bukan dia tak percaya kawan dia, cuma dia tak nak orang print screen barang dia tanpa izin. Bagi dia, itu invasion of privacy.

1. Tapi, kalau dia set public, bukan ke dia patut expect benda tu akan jadi kat dia?

Bagi aku, benda ni simple. Kalau dia set public, maknanya dia cuma bagi korang tengok dan komen je. Kalau print screen, kau kena mintak izin. Dia expect yang kau akan tengok post dia. Itu saja. If anybody else want to see their post, they damn well go to her profile and view it. Dia tak expect kau print screen dan tunjuk kat dunia. You're just being redundant and she will suffer profile view loss (dia tak kisah pun siapa view profile dia, let alone berapa views dia dapat everyday).

2. Tapi, apa yang orang cakap tu tak patut lah!

You might be right but that doesn't justify your actions. If what he/she said was offensive/rude like you said and you really want to menyedarkan, kau patut drag diorang somewhere private and slow talk ngan diorang. Kalau nak guna keganasan pun, kau tampar muka tu cukuplah! Tu baru menyedarkan.

3. Tapi, orang lain kena ambik iktibar dari perkara ni!

Hahaha!!!!!! Hampir nak pecah perut aku gelak dengar statement ni. Kau cuba tengok komen diorang. Cuba tengok hate page dan wall post diorang. Kalau ada Twitter, try tengok dan baca. Kebanyakan komen pun bukannya baik sangat. Lagi teruk adalah. Mintak doa laknat lah, ugut bunuh/sembelih lah, ini lah itu lah. Menyedarkan ke? Nak bagi nasihat? Berhikmah ke tu? Tak! Mengeji tu adalah. Honey, tak tau ke kalau kau mengeji memang ke laut lah orang tu? #truestory

Bila orang tu mintak maaf, kau pertikaikan lah, kutuk lah. Kau nak diorang buat apa supaya kau tak kutuk diorang lagi? Bunuh diri? That doesn't sound so bad. Maybe they should kill themselves so you guys will stop harassing them. They don't deserve to be harassed by you guys! Your actions are just disgusting! You should be ashamed of yourself. You guys are cowards, okay. Cowards! If you really want to set them straight, you could've been upfront and told them straight. But nooooo!!!! You guys decided to print screen it for all to see. Don't you guys realize that you are also jeopardizing their safety (and sanity)? With all those doa laknat wishes and death threats can really drive someone up the wall.

Diyana tu pun satu. Coward jugak. Bab marah-memarahi kat Blogger ni, dia terus panggil aku. Yelah, aku tau aku selalu kutuk2 dan maki2 dia. Tapi, kalau aku yang buat camtu kat dia, memang dia akan fire balik. Entah kenapa dia tak boleh fire balik kat korang. I also don't know.

PS: Diyana pesan that the label 'malay' refers to language, not race.

Porn pictures in FB

Today in Facebook, I stumbled upon some nude pictures and guys kissing each other appearing in my news feed and under my friend's profile.

Yikes! I wonder what happened. I know my friends are not the type to spread porn pictures around. And, yeah. Porn pictures disturb me. They give me nightmares, like snakes.

It turns out that it's the hackers once again. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously?

Please lah. Stop hacking us. I'm out of ideas for my password already. Seriously, I can say for almost all Facebook users that we're too tired to handle this crap.

Facebook is getting messed up everyday. Friendships and relationships have been broken thanks to it. However, I had to admit, it also helps us to keep in touch with our friends and reunite us with people that we haven't seen in years.

What am I trying to say is that...

HACKERS HAVE ALREADY ENTERED INTO FACEBOOK & THEY ARE PUTTING SEXUAL VIDEOS TO YOUR NAME IN THE WALLS OR PROFILES OF YOUR FRIENDS WITHOUT YOU KNOWING IT. YOU DON´T SEE IT, BUT OTHER PEOPLE CAN SEE IT, AS IF THESE WERE A PUBLICATION THAT YOU MADE! SO IF YOU RECEIVE SOMETHING FROM ME ABOUT A VIDEO, IT'S NOT MINE! copy this in your wall. It is for the security of YOUR OWN IMAGE.

So, everybody. Please do not click on any suspicious link, but you can click on my link: http://doojoonitis.blogspot.com ^_^