Write my life: 2013 in a nutshell

In a galaxy not so far away not a long time ago, there is this girl who was about to embark on a journey to discover the world. Little did she know that she is not there to discover the world. She is there to discover herself.

Thumbs up if you've been playing Star Wars theme song in your head while reading this.

2013 has been a challenging year for me. Not only that it marks my journey in the working world, it marks my journey as an independent person. For the past year, here's what I've experienced and learned:

Experiences:

1. I actually gone to a blind date. It was okay lah to sum it up. If I had the opportunity to do it again (regardless with the same person or different person), I would.
2. I got a job at a law firm in Bukit Damansara, Jayadeep Hari & Jamil. I loved it the first time I set foot in that office as a pupil-in-chambers.
3. Graduated from uni. Period.
4. I've been through different heartbreaks. They hurt in their own ways but hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
5. Drove to Seremban Court alone for a case management.
6. Went to Phuket and snorkelled at Phi Phi Island.
7. I screwed up on one file that almost got the whole firm in trouble.
8. Being a chairperson for a monthly staff meeting ALONE.
9. I've lost some friends and gained some new ones.
10. Met someone who I never expected to meet at all.
11. Participated in White Ribbon Campaign and joined the 3km walk to raise awareness to end violence against women.

What I've learned:

1. Heartbreaks will hurt you and crush you but it won't kill you. If you persevere enough, you'll get out of it.
2. You can wish for the person who broke your heart well even though at the same you want to punch that motherfucker in the face.
3. It's okay to cry, especially when everything is confusing and overwhelming for you.
4. It doesn't really matter that you made a mistake. The most important thing is: what's your plan to get out of it?
5. Mistakes at the same time can also lead to new opportunities.
6. It's okay to be scared and jaded of the past. You're only human.
7. Over-thinking and over-analyzing drains your energy.
8. There will be people who don't understand you. Don't be surprised if it's someone that you cared about for a long time.
9. Your life, your choices, your tests, your mistakes, your fight, your journey, your answers are definitely nobody's business.
10. Your past will haunt you and affect your present and future.
11. Don't let anybody tell you what you can and cannot do.
12. Don't let anybody tell you what should and shouldn't be your opinion.
13. First time is the hardest but you'll get the hang of it.
14. Letting go is hard and painful but necessary.
15. Despite of all the craziness, everything will be okay.
16. Contrary to popular beliefs, sometimes office colleagues can be BFFs.
17. Confess your love and take the plunge.
18. The past will haunt you like mad and drives you insane.
19. The future is scary but it can't be that bad. Can it?
20. The world is sad. Pathetic even but that doesn't mean you have to.
21. If someone shoots down your opinion and refuse to listen to your reasoning or justify you to force into accepting their opinion, it doesn't really matter if that person is looking out for you or cares about you or loves you, just drop them. Once they take away your voice, you ain't got anything and it also shows lack of respect.
22. People do and say crazy things when they love.
23. It's okay to be a little crazy.
24. Brace yourself for emotional and mental bullying cause there are lots of it.
25. Despite other people telling you otherwise, as long as you don't do anything against your faith, conscience or religion, chances are you don't need to be saved.
26. There is such thing as being a stationeryholic.
27. If someone tries to usurp your family's position (ie: reprimanding and nagging at you for either staying back late or delayed your meals when your parents are cool with it cause they know your reasons), kick them out.
28. You gotta do what you gotta do even if it means coming to the office on weekends to chase deadlines.
29. When reviewing your past, there are some moments that you deemed as awkward. Be grateful that it crossed your mind.
30. There will be someone in your life who you ask yourself why did they stay in your life when they could just leave.
31. You will have different opinions about stuff. Don't let the others decide what you should belief.
32. Have confidence in your faith.
33. There are people that had, currently and will be insulting your intelligence.
34. Don't let your past prevents you from living in the present and future.
35. Verify, verify and verify.
36. Carpe diem.

The Man Behind the Mustache

Okay. Recently a lot of attention have been around this guy lately.



Meet Muhammad Azwan Mohd Nor aka Wak Doyok.
I have no idea why he uses the name Wak Doyok as his noms de guerre. You have have to ask him that. But there's something about him that makes me want to get to know him more. Yeah. I know that he's the co-founder of an online store called the Garment. Okay, the name of the store sounds vague. It only tells you that they sell clothes (duh!) but it makes me want to check it out and makes me wonder about stuff like what do they sell, is it available for girls, do they have attractive price range, do they have a membership program or something.

My sources (yeah, right) tell me that this 33-year-old fashion designer and entrepreneur is actually an engineering graduate from Germany (I like). He's been interested in fashion ever a boutique called Ben Sherman opened in Malaysia.

Personally, I think this guy is a freaking socialite. I mean, look at his Instagram profile! There are hundreds of photos of him in different events. There are photos of him everywhere! Makes me think, who the hell help him take his selfies. I need that person to help me take selfies (despite me not being a selfie taker). I wanna look good in photos too.

Anyway, jokes aside. I really want to get to know this guy. His rise to fame (?) is so sudden (or chambering life totally sucked my social life dry) that I find him enigmatic. I don't really just want to know Wak Doyok. I want to know the man behind Wak Doyok. The man behind the mustache. I want to get to know him as in personally. I don't want to know about how he came about being in the fashion industry. I can basically read it up on the net. I want to know what makes him choose fashion despite being an engineering grad. I want to know what drives him and what people around him said when he first started out. I want to get to know Muhammad Azwan bin Mohd Nor. And, I bet you guys want to get to know him too.

PS #1: He looks quite cute in that mustache and beard of his. It makes me want to speak English in a British accent and dress up like a 19th century British lady.

PS #2: I don't have a crush on him, okay. I still have Linsanity bug in me.

PS #3: Wang Lee Hom is married T-T Congrats, man!

PS #4: DO you think he can give me some fashion tips?

How to make a hipster music video

I watched this video called How to Write a Hipster Rock Anthem by BuzzFeed. It is sooo hilarious and catchy that I decided to make a list on how to make a hipster music video.

Below is the said music video, folks.



So on to the how-tos...

Step 1: Get scruffy/not-so good looking but still decent looking dudes
Hipsters take pride in their looks in a way that they give an impression that they don't (what?). Hence the scruffy/I-don't-take-care-of-my-appearance appearance.

I don't know what to write about girls. Any ideas?

Step 2: Location, location, location
To have a perfect hipster music video, location plays an important part. All time favourite hipster location would be: the garden, the attic, an empty room with musical instruments and stuff, a normal music video set which normally don't have anything but instruments, a run-down place and some random place that don't make sense.

Step 3: Filters
Most hipster music videos have filter like you're taking a picture using a lomo camera. It's like those Instagram photo effects. It is to give a retro/vintage feel to the video.

Step 4: Look really stoned, bored and zombified
Notice how the people in hipster music videos look? Yes! They either look bored, stoned or zombified (or even hypnotized). You can choose to make them stand or sit. And sing like you're super tired like you're about to faint.

Step 3: Props
Have something vintage such as vinyl record players, old telephones, lomo cameras or you guys can go totally steampunk (minus the class).

Step 4: Have san serif fonts
If you wanna add texts to the music video, be sure to use sans serif. Hispters are (sometimes) minimalists after all(?)

Step 5: Outfits
Make sure you dress your actors up in vintage clothes or clothes that look like they come from the thrift shop or Urban Outfitters. Oh, and Converse really suit the whole hipsteresque concept. Bonus point: Stain/tie-dye the outfits.

Step 6: Do random movements
Get your actors to do random movements such as run around, laugh or dance like they're high on drugs (even though they're not).

Step 7: Make sure the singers do weird moves
Get the lead singer to do weird movements while singing but make sure it suits the beat of the song.

So, there you have it. 7 easy steps to make your very own hipster music video. If you guys have any hipster music video of your own to show me, you guys can post your links on the comment below. Have a nice day.

Cheers!

These are all jokes, not reality.

Apa yang kau takutkan

Apa yang kau takutkan

Apa yang kau takutkan?

Adakah kau takut kau takde masa depan?

Atau kau takut sebab kau tak boleh foresee apa yang akan terjadi?

Adakah kau takut orang tu dump kau?

Atau kau takut yang apa yang kau usahakan itu sia-sia belaka?

Adakah kau takut miskin?

Atau kau takut nampak miskin?

Adakah kau takut take the next step?

Atau kau takut bersusah-payah?

Adakah kau takut hasil nukilan kau tak dapat sambutan?

Atau kau takut hasil nukilan kau diherdik dan dicaci oleh orang ramai?

Adakah kau takut kau gagal?

Atau kau takut diketawakan atas kegagalan kau itu?

Adakah kau takut akan suasana baru?

Atau kau takut bahawa takkan ada safety net untuk kau?

Adakah kau takut untuk go out of major?

Atau kau takut dikritik hebat oleh masyarakat akan pilihan kau?

Adakah kau takut untuk berkawan?

Atau kau takut dikhianati (lagi)?

Adakah kau takut dikecewakan?

Atau kau takut yang kau mengecewakan?

Adakah kau takut bersuara?

Atau kau takut suara kau tu akan membunuh kau?

Adakah kau takut melakukan kesilapan?

Atau kau takut kesilapan itu akan menghantui kau?

Adakah kau takut untuk bercinta?

Atau takut yang cinta itu akan membunuh kau?

Adakah kau takut mati?

Atau kau takut whether you did something right before your death?

Bagitau aku

Apa yang kau takutkan sebenarnya........

Why I think playing hard to get is pointless

Since I'm a girl, people have always been giving me advice that I should not show to a guy that I like that I'm desperate for him and I must play hard to get. Needless to say, I've gotten so good at it that my play hard to get becomes play impossible to get and most of the time, play don't even want to get. You get my drift. That would have worked when I'm young, wild, broke and still in uni. Now that I'm still young, wild and have a job, I find playing hard to get is pointless. Here's why:

• I am really pressed for time. I have work to do: research, opinions, cause papers and status updates to do. Plus,I have meetings to attend. By the time I'm done with those, I just want to rest and recharge so I can do more work.
• I don't have the energy. I may not be old but hey, I need energy to do other stuff than burdening some dude who digs me just to show I'm desirable.
• I'm not desirable. Okay, maybe some dudes dig me (I don't know who and it's best that I don't). It's just that I don't want guys to see me as something to compete for. That's creepy. I'm a lawyer-in-training, not a Victoria Secret Angel wannabe.
• I don't know about you guys but playing hard to get sends a message that you're not serious. If you're really serious, you won't treat it like a game.
• I'm tired. After I get back from work or stuff, I want to rest.
• I have better things to do like work, sleep, watch TV, go shopping or hangout at mamak stalls eating parathas with curry.
• If I want to be chased, I'll get a few people to dress up like zombies and chase me.
• If I want thrill, I'd ride a roller coaster or go on a spontaneous trip to Kazakhstan.
• If I have to choose between being stuck in Romania or playing hard to get, I'd choose being stuck in Romania anytime. And, I don't even speak Romanian.
• I'm 25, not 22 when playing hard to get is actually fun.
• I believe that if you want something, go get it. I mean, you don't pretend that you don't want a job that you've been wanting right? How dumb is that?
• There are big differences between being straight and direct and plain old desperate. Being straight and direct is telling a guy/girl that you like him. Being desperate is threatening to kill his/her pet hamster if he/she don't like you back, or give up your virginity hoping they stay (they don't).
• Replying a text promptly shows that you're efficient and you respect the sender. Purposely waiting for hours before replying a text is pretentious. (At least when I say that I left my phone in my handbag, it was ACTUALLY in my handbag)
• If I don't like that guy, I'll just turn him down. End of story.
• I want a serious relationship, not a game.
• A blowoff is a blowoff.
• While it's annoying that girls play hard to get, it is more annoying when guys do it. Seriously? What for?
• It can backfire. The person might think you're not into them or if they see through your game, they'll drop you and say, "Fuck it! I'm too old for this crap."
• I have plans and goals. Playing hard to get is not one of them.
• Show to them you're desirable. Bitch please. No matter how hard you show to the world how desirable you are, a 25 year old beat up Proton Saga will always be more desirable than you.
• I may not really know what I want but I know what I don't want. Playing hard to get.
• I'm lazy. If you don't want to run, don't make them chase.

This is purely my personal opinion. I don't mean to offend anyone. If I do, sorry. Not sorry! Yes, I sound like a total snob. Yes, I sound as if I'm constantly busy without thinking other people are not. The truth is, I know that there are other people more tired and busier than me. I'm not just going to ignore my feelings just because there are people out there who somehow feels more tired and busier than me. It's not going to make me feel less tired. It just makes me feel that I'm nothing and my feelings don't matter. No offence, I don't really want to live in resentment.

I don't care about what people said about making a guy put in more effort just to get me. Come on, think about it. One simple text might take three days just to compose and send. Aku nak call hospital untuk set up appointment pun ambik masa hanya untuk call. It's excruciating to make the first move and I'm not talking about love alone. About anything lah. Nak hantar resume untuk mintak kerja pun takes effort and courage. Bukan senang nak buat. I mean, orang penat-penat bagitau feelings dia kat kau, kau pulak konon nak tunjuk ramai nak kat kau dan kau tak desperate, kau mulalah play hard to get bagai such as ambik masa berjam-jam untuk reply text. Kalau betul-betul tak sudi, takpe lah jugak. Kalau sudi tapi sengaja nak bagi dia keluar effort lebih, baik tak payah lah. Love and relationship for me is not a game. I don't main tarik tali or chase around. I treat it like work and being in a relationship requires teamwork and commitment. And, it's a two-way effort. Kalau aku jadi lelaki and aku tengok perempuan tu macam nak-tak nak je, aku angkat kaki. I'll find someone who appreciates me more. Fikir-fikir lah balil, sama-sama manusia. Sama-sama ada feelings and limitations. You're scared, we get it. So are they.

Cause I will be labelled as a cheapskate tradition destroyer

Since there are lots of weddings and engagements going on amongst my circle of friends, I figure that since I have no job, no life and no boyfriend, why don't I make a list of my dream engagement and wedding.

For my engagement:

• Just bring the ring because that's the reason why you guys are here in the first place
• Please keep it in a durable, no-frill container that fits nicely in your pocket
• Hantaran is negotiable. It depends on how much you're willing to pay without taking up a loan and living on Maggi all year long. I don't measure myself with money
• No balas pantun please. I want to keep it as simple as possible
• No dulang-dulang hantaran. Save that for the akad nikah (solemnization)
• Do not overdress. It ain't official yet.

For my (ahem, our) wedding:

• The theme is either white or cream. No offence, that red baju melayu looks really great on you during Eid but on our wedding, it made me cringe.
• A simple akad nikah would do. Either in my house or at the masjid. Preferably at the masjid cause can fit many people and we can like solat berjemaah while we're at it
• To miss or mrs makeup artist: DO NOT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A DRAG QUEEN PLEASE
• No falsies and plucking my eyebrows either
• Simple makeup will do lah. I just want to look pretty and fresh, not like a children's colouring book
• Please keep hijab styling as simple and sweet as possible. I want to be able to breathe
• Reception is optional
• If there is any reception: no tepung tawar and no songs from Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Kesha and Katy Perry shall be played. Lifehouse is approved
• To the caterers: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE PEEL AND DEVEIN THE PRAWNS. I know peeled and deveined prawns ain't pretty but please, I don't want any incident of a prawn jumping out the dining table. The same rule applies to other crustaceans as well. However, I don't really mind raw oysters with shells intact.
• To our family: No fighting, no badmouthing, no usurping the ceremony or any acts that amounted to a wedding coup d etat
• To the jurunikah: please go easy on him. He's nervous
• Dulang hantaran rules: desserts are either to be fresh fruits or chocolates. No cheesecakes. Please make sure you know the size of my clothes and shoes. No flashy patterns like those designer brands like to put. For cosmetics and skincare: please know my skin and hair type and skin tone
• Better yet, scrap the dulang hantaran and use that money for a romantic getaway
• You know what, scrap the getaway too. Save it for the house instead
• Oh yeah. Card rules: Keep the design minimal and simple. Not to mention, unscented

So, yeah. That's all so far. Cheers!

What sort of hipster are you?

You're the Tortured Intellectual!
Take What sort of Hipster are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

You're sensitive, you're emotional, and you wonder why everyone else in the world exists on a different plane. You cannot eat, breathe, or sleep without analyzing each action to death. You're usually sombre, depressed, lethargic, but you can be nearly glad from time to time. You wear whatever you can find on your cluttered bedroom floor. You carry books, notepads, reading glasses with you wherever you go. You have friends, but only a few who truly get where you're coming from. You frequent coffee shops, libraries, and the less crowded bars. You're obsessed with past people, past ideas, past lives. You wish you could die and be reborn as Jack Kerouac.

Of materialism

There was a video circulating around Facebook about how women look at men.



While some glorify the video as reality, others dismiss it as mere generalization. Both of them are right. It is a sad reality that we're facing today. However, not many people know why it happens.

This thing is taught, babe. Nuff said. Can't really blame people who succumb to materialism, regardless of age, gender, ethnicity and location. It is taught. To girls, especially. Believe me. I have the first hand experience.

Our school counselor once said that love would not suffice to survive in this world. Everything is money. Yes, I agree. Money is important to ensure survival in the modern world.

Then, our KH (living skills) teacher who is a man once told us girls that we have to ask a man three questions.

1. Do they have any cash?
2. Do they have a car?
3. Do they have a house?

Then, our parents and relatives tend to bombard us with sayings such as:

"Don't go for someone poor."
"Get someone with a stable job that can feed you."

And then, comes the dowry issue. Parents tend to set really high amount of dowry on their daughters, sometimes too unrealistic for the guys to meet. The guys have to work his butt off, fast for a few months (sometimes years) and they even have to take up bank loans (like seriously) for it. And, for what? For a grand wedding that only lasts a few hours that will be attended by hundreds of guests that we don't even know? Then, the next thing you know divorce may follow suit. Well, one of the most common grounds for divorce is financial difficulties. I mean, come on. Even family ties got broken off because of money.

Don't forget poverty. Sometimes (most of the time), poverty do play a part in instilling materialism in us. I mean, just watch the movie Pisau Cukur (Gold Digger) and Alice in Cheongdam-dong. Look at how Bella and Se Kyung manipulate their way just to snag a rich man to help them out of poverty. And, I've always thought and was taught that riches corrupt people. Turns out poverty corrupts people too. Sad reality ain't it?

What I'm trying to say is this: Yes, materialism is taught. Taught by family members, school, the media and the society. So, is it really our fault that we succumb to the pressure of materialism? Somewhat since we can always fight against it. It's good to be realistic but that doesn't mean that we should resort to materialism.

#sarcasm Aku perempuan so aku kena cakap pasal benda yang perempuan selalu cakap seperti fashion, masak-masak, kahwin and makeup. Hahaha!!!

Muhasabah diri (Diyana style)

Quote from a friend:

"It is not destiny that determines love. It is choice. Our so – called destiny is a lie. Relationships last long not because they are destined to last long. Relationships last long because two brave persons made a choice to keep it, to fight for it and to work for it. Meanwhile, other relationships fail not because they are destined to fail. They failed because one of the two or both made a choice to give up."

What he said is true. From what I observed, things (the good ones lah) happen to people because they are brave enough to take the steps. Brave enough to get out of their comfort zone and venture out. Things fail because people didn't make any effort to succeed and work it out.

Aku bagi benda simple lah. Kau nak travel the world. Explore the other parts of the world other than your own backyard. Tapi, nak pergi kedai bawah rumah pun kau takut pasal ada berita pasal rising crime rates. Yes, the world is scary tapi itu tak bermaksud kau kena jadi misanthropic hikkikomori yang mempunyai masalah anxiety. Yes, you can read about it in the Internet and books but unless you put yourself out there, Internet dengan buku mana cukup bhai! Sama lah bila kau asyik contact dengan kawan kau secara online/text/phone calls. Ingat cukup? Mesti kau nak jumpa in person kan (melainkan orang tu kau tak nak jumpa lah)? Then, make an effort to jumpa lah! Kau tak boleh jumpa malam, so jumpa time siang ke. Tak kisah lah seminit ke sejam ke, asalkan jumpa. At least kau ada effort.

Yes, comfort zone is very comfortable. That's how comfort zone gets its name. Tapi, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Too much comfort can turn you into a spoiled, whiny, wimpy and limp person. Kau akan jadi malas, manja and a soft ass pussy! Bila susah sikit, kau crumble. Kau tak nak camtu kan? Kau kan fighter. Kau jenis yang kalau nak sesuatu, kau akan work it out to get it. So, be that person! Get out of that comfort zone and rough it out. Kau ingat kawan-kawan kau yang kerja kat Klang Valley ni. Kau ingat diorang senang ke? No! They actually had to leave their families in their hometown for better opportunities! They effing sacrificed their comfort for something that is worth it: career is one of it! Sebab kalau terlalu selesa, you ain't going anywhere.

So, message aku kepada kau dan kepada sesiapa yang tengah terasa now is go out there and savour life (tapi jangan hedonistic sangat okay). Make friends with strangers (tapi at the same time be careful), do something crazy (but legal) and... OMG! Keluar je lah! You have nothing to lose. Bila kau dah tua nanti, at least kau boleh bagitau anak-anak dan cucu-cucu kau about your adventures. Aku tau kau ada simpan bucket list somewhere. Kalau tak in writing, maybe in your mind. Just do it, man! Life is too short to be anxious.