People say respect must be earned. It's true.
People say that the younger generations must respect the older generation, that is true as well.
However respect is a two-way thing. I don't believe the crap that the elders must be respected and the youngs must be loved. No, bitch! That ain't how I jive. Both generations must love and respect each other. How do you expect the younger generation to respect the elders when the elders fail to show respect to the youngs as well?
Yes, the young ones must show respect first but the elders must show it later as well.
Stop treating the young ones like kids cause they will never grow up if you do.
But that's not really what I want to talk about. I want to talk about respecting one's opinions and choices.
Respect the opinions of the person even though you don't agree with them.
As long as their opinions do not condone any violence or insult anything or disrupt peace on earth, just let it slide.
You can choose not to believe in peaceful rally or demonstration but respect the ones who believe in it.
If you disagree, do it in an academic way, ie: give reasons on why you don't think the way they do.
Don't go around making personal attacks on them. That's just juvenile.
Respect the boundaries that people set for themselves.
Allow them to stand their grounds when it matters to them.
If a girl refused to go out with you for certain reasons, listen to her explanation.
Don't just beg her until she relents.
Respect the person's choices as long as they're not detrimental.
If they choose to seek professional help, don't talk them out of it.
They might sense something might be wrong in them.
If they choose to wear a colour that they're comfortable with, let them.
You're not shoes. Why the hell should you run their life?
Respect the person's words and listen to them fully.
Don't just jump into conclusions without the full details.
Respect the reasons behind their words.
Respect the tears that they shed and the laugh that they burst.
Respect every yes you get. Respect every no and maybe you get as well.
Don't go on begging and begging until you lose it all.
Usah mengadu anak muda kehilangan adab jika kamu sendiri biadap
Usah mengadu gadis hilang kehormatan jika kamu sendiri tidak hormati mereka
Usah mengadu anak muda kehilangan harga diri jika kamu sendiri yang merendahkan mereka
Usah mengadu gadis asyik termakan pujuk rayu lelaki jika kamu sendiri yang memujuk rayu
Usah mengadu yang si tua tidak peduli jika kamu sendiri tidak pedulikan mereka
Usah mengadu dia melawan jika kamu sendiri yang menggari tangannya
Usah mengadu mereka tidak pandai jika kamu sendiri mengajar benda yang salah
Usah mengadu bila mereka diam jika kamu sendiri yang kunci mulut mereka
Usah mengadu orang lain tidak ada agama jika kamu sendiri tidak berperikemanusiaan
Dalam erti kata lain mengata dulang paku serpih, mengata orang dia yang lebih
Dalam erti kata lain usah gelar cerek itu hitam jika kamu sendiri adalah kuali dan arang
Dalam erti kata lain cermin diri dahulu sebelum menghakimi orang lain
Dalam erti kata lain benarkan mereka hidup dengan kehidupan mereka dan pilihan mereka.
Showing posts with label angst. Show all posts
Showing posts with label angst. Show all posts
Friday, 4 September 2015
Sunday, 26 January 2014
Relationship tips from a single person
People keep saying to never take relationship advice from someone who is single cause what do they know about relationships right? Well, as a single person I can tell you guys that we singles see some screw-ups in your relationships and you guys actually come to us complaining about your relationship problems. Sometimes you guys fight over the simplest of things but we try to understand lah. Here are some tips for you people in a relationship that I think would be useful.
1. Love is all about teamwork.
Love and relationships are never games. But somehow I see people treat it like so which screws the relationship. Chasing is a thrill but once you guys get together, it's no longer cat and mouse chase anymore. It's all about teamwork. Work together with your partner to make the relationship work. Treat it like you would if it's a business entity. Relationship is a partnership after all. I mean, a relationship cannot work if both parties or one party do not take it seriously and refuse to cooperate right?
2. Be proactive
Girls, don't expect guys to make the first move all the time. Guys, don't be so lazy after asking her out for a first date. If you guys want to get together, plan it. It doesn't really matter who instigate it, what matters is that plans are made. Don't complain that the other party doesn't put in an effort to get together. If you want it, ask.
3. Get your partner's free dates
If you guys work in a legal environment, especially litigation you guys know what I mean. I noticed that this thing is taken really lightly but asking for your partner's free dates in advance is important so that you guys can actually plan to spend time together. Cause seriously, constantly postponing a get-together is really irritating. People don't really mind if you guys have to postpone for some emergency, but constantly postponing it? Seriously? Better not go out at all.
4. Communicate, communicate, communicate
Some of you guys really lack communications. Communication is very important in letting your partner know what you need, what you want and stuff. People are not mind readers so if you want something, ask for it. If you feel dissatisfied or happy, voice it out. Talk it out lah. Be professional about it. Don't shout or accuse each other. Start with things like "I feel that..." so at least the other party can explain themselves without getting too defensive. Make sure you guys understand each other to avoid any misunderstandings. Cause based on my observation, it's one of the reasons relationships screw up.
5. Don't set unrealistic expectations
We girls are guilty of this, me included. I do expect my texts to be returned on time and I get agitated when my calls are unanswered and rejected and when texts don't get replied on time. I know I shouldn't get so irritated but I do have friends who took months to reply and the one who never replies yet accuses me of never keeping in touch. I don't really expect texts to be returned there and then but hey, anytime you guys are online would be fine. And I'm talking about friends of the same gender.
What I'm trying to say is that please do not expect a lot from your partner. Some of us actually need coaxing and reminders. Hate to break it to you guys about this but sometimes we have to act like a secretary. You know what, don't expect at all.
6. I don't care if you're my best friend in the whole wide world but if you cheat on your partner, I'm on their side.
I may not like your partner but if you cheat on them, I'm always on their side. I don't care what are your reasons for cheating, I will still think that you're an asshole. No offence lah. When you cheat, it doesn't only affect your partner, it affects everybody in your circle whether you notice it or not. I know this one couple (they were) who both of them are my friends and I'm closer to the dude. When I found out that he cheated on his (ex) girlfriend, I chose to side with her. Not because she's a girl or that she's younger than me. It's just I saw how her hurt she was and how it devastated her. It just makes me so angry that I fear that this thing will happen to me in the future. It gives me a twisted opinion about love and relationship altogether. Besides, scoffing at the word 'love' and 'relationship' is actually pathetic.
If you apologize, it's actually up to your partner whether to forgive you or not. To be totally honest, I would forgive my partner if he cheats on me but I will only do it once. If he cheats again, I'm burning his car. And, don't complain that your partner turns into a monster when they find out you cheated, YOU are the one that turned them into a monster that they feared they will turn.
7. Don't make promises that you can't keep
When you promise to keep in touch, please do. When you promise a second outing, do it. When you promise to wish good morning and good night everyday without fail, do it. When you promise not to hurt your partner, don't hurt them. Making promises cause the other party to expect and it hurts when you don't carry out. I have guys who after getting my number and saying that we should keep in touch never did and guys who promised a second outing never bother to even reply my text. What I'm trying to say is that screw being polite. If you don't feel like keeping in touch or go out with me for the second time, don't suggest it to me or give me ideas. It's fucking irritating. Heck! I never did. Why do you guys think I never ask for a guy's number no matter how cute or nice they are? Cause when I don't want to keep in touch with them, I just keep quiet and say bye. Yeah, I'm bitter but what do I care? I've been stabbed in the back by 4 guys (actually it's more) and their knives are still there. It doesn't really help that two of them stabbed me 50 times!!!! Guys, just stab it in the heart and be done with it, please!
Felt the burn or the stab? Good. Cause that means that it works. I blog about this topic with that intention. Don't worry. I felt it too.
Inb4: Kau single baik takyah cakap pasal relationship lah!!
1. Love is all about teamwork.
Love and relationships are never games. But somehow I see people treat it like so which screws the relationship. Chasing is a thrill but once you guys get together, it's no longer cat and mouse chase anymore. It's all about teamwork. Work together with your partner to make the relationship work. Treat it like you would if it's a business entity. Relationship is a partnership after all. I mean, a relationship cannot work if both parties or one party do not take it seriously and refuse to cooperate right?
2. Be proactive
Girls, don't expect guys to make the first move all the time. Guys, don't be so lazy after asking her out for a first date. If you guys want to get together, plan it. It doesn't really matter who instigate it, what matters is that plans are made. Don't complain that the other party doesn't put in an effort to get together. If you want it, ask.
3. Get your partner's free dates
If you guys work in a legal environment, especially litigation you guys know what I mean. I noticed that this thing is taken really lightly but asking for your partner's free dates in advance is important so that you guys can actually plan to spend time together. Cause seriously, constantly postponing a get-together is really irritating. People don't really mind if you guys have to postpone for some emergency, but constantly postponing it? Seriously? Better not go out at all.
4. Communicate, communicate, communicate
Some of you guys really lack communications. Communication is very important in letting your partner know what you need, what you want and stuff. People are not mind readers so if you want something, ask for it. If you feel dissatisfied or happy, voice it out. Talk it out lah. Be professional about it. Don't shout or accuse each other. Start with things like "I feel that..." so at least the other party can explain themselves without getting too defensive. Make sure you guys understand each other to avoid any misunderstandings. Cause based on my observation, it's one of the reasons relationships screw up.
5. Don't set unrealistic expectations
We girls are guilty of this, me included. I do expect my texts to be returned on time and I get agitated when my calls are unanswered and rejected and when texts don't get replied on time. I know I shouldn't get so irritated but I do have friends who took months to reply and the one who never replies yet accuses me of never keeping in touch. I don't really expect texts to be returned there and then but hey, anytime you guys are online would be fine. And I'm talking about friends of the same gender.
What I'm trying to say is that please do not expect a lot from your partner. Some of us actually need coaxing and reminders. Hate to break it to you guys about this but sometimes we have to act like a secretary. You know what, don't expect at all.
6. I don't care if you're my best friend in the whole wide world but if you cheat on your partner, I'm on their side.
I may not like your partner but if you cheat on them, I'm always on their side. I don't care what are your reasons for cheating, I will still think that you're an asshole. No offence lah. When you cheat, it doesn't only affect your partner, it affects everybody in your circle whether you notice it or not. I know this one couple (they were) who both of them are my friends and I'm closer to the dude. When I found out that he cheated on his (ex) girlfriend, I chose to side with her. Not because she's a girl or that she's younger than me. It's just I saw how her hurt she was and how it devastated her. It just makes me so angry that I fear that this thing will happen to me in the future. It gives me a twisted opinion about love and relationship altogether. Besides, scoffing at the word 'love' and 'relationship' is actually pathetic.
If you apologize, it's actually up to your partner whether to forgive you or not. To be totally honest, I would forgive my partner if he cheats on me but I will only do it once. If he cheats again, I'm burning his car. And, don't complain that your partner turns into a monster when they find out you cheated, YOU are the one that turned them into a monster that they feared they will turn.
7. Don't make promises that you can't keep
When you promise to keep in touch, please do. When you promise a second outing, do it. When you promise to wish good morning and good night everyday without fail, do it. When you promise not to hurt your partner, don't hurt them. Making promises cause the other party to expect and it hurts when you don't carry out. I have guys who after getting my number and saying that we should keep in touch never did and guys who promised a second outing never bother to even reply my text. What I'm trying to say is that screw being polite. If you don't feel like keeping in touch or go out with me for the second time, don't suggest it to me or give me ideas. It's fucking irritating. Heck! I never did. Why do you guys think I never ask for a guy's number no matter how cute or nice they are? Cause when I don't want to keep in touch with them, I just keep quiet and say bye. Yeah, I'm bitter but what do I care? I've been stabbed in the back by 4 guys (actually it's more) and their knives are still there. It doesn't really help that two of them stabbed me 50 times!!!! Guys, just stab it in the heart and be done with it, please!
Felt the burn or the stab? Good. Cause that means that it works. I blog about this topic with that intention. Don't worry. I felt it too.
Inb4: Kau single baik takyah cakap pasal relationship lah!!
Sunday, 5 January 2014
Past Me vs Present Me part 1
I'm 25 going to be 26 so yeah I'm old. Yayness!!!
Since I'm older and somewhat wiser (?), I noticed that I've changed... a lot. Past me would be very shocked to see the present me and the present me would be just winking at past me and said that this is real. As you move on to a new place or a new surrounding, your social circle change and so are your perspective and opinions. I don't think that it's wrong. So, here are the list of my perspective during my teens and early 20s and my perspective now.
1. Criteria of an ideal boyfriend/husband
Past me: I want a big brother figure. Someone who can take care of me. Someone who will tell me to stay out of trouble and someone who controls me a bit. Someone who cares about me and would scold me whenever I mess up. Someone who can guide me to the right path. Someone who can mould me to be perfect and good. Someone who will spoil me and dotes on me and treats me like a little girl. Someone who will protect and support me at all times.
Present me: Someone who I can be myself with. Someone who doesn't control me. Someone who recognizes me as an individual. Someone who respects and understand my life choices despite not really agreeable with it. Someone who will support me and my decisions even though my decisions are dumb and will get me in trouble. Someone who is willing to work together to strengthen our bond. Someone who will trust that despite me getting myself into problems and trouble, I can get myself out. Someone who acknowledge that I'm an independent woman. Someone who will tell me to keep an eye on my goals and go for it. Someone who stand by me and tell me that I can do it no matter how impossible and stupid my goals are. Someone who respects my opinion and will not shoot me down. Someone who is open-minded.
2. Life
Past me: I can't make it alone. I want someone by my side. I need someone to guide me. I need to be rescued. I'm a damsel in distress.
Present me: I'm independent. I have talents and intelligence that God gives me. I can make it. I can do it. The one who will rescue me is me. I'm a fighter.
3. Opinions
Past me: They are older and more experienced than me so they are right and I'm wrong.
Present me: Some are right, some are wrong. Doesn't mean that I'm young and have different opinions doesn't mean that I'm wrong.
4. On myself
Past me: I have to be a good girl. I have to be graceful, gentle, docile, obedient and nice.
Present me: I have to be a good girl and at the same time ambitious, hardworking, smart, gentle yet fierce, obedient yet stubborn and nice.
5. About people
Past me: I want everybody to like me even though I don't like them.
Present me: I don't want to be a people pleaser. It's really exhausting. I like food. Food is good.
6. To those who shoots down my opinions
Past me: They must have been right. Why do I even think about it?
Present me: This is my opinion so please suck it up!
7. When people tells me on how I should live my life (in a forceful way)
Past me: You're right. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Present me: Dude! My parents don't even do that to me so what makes you think that YOU have the authority to do that???
8. When thinking on whether to dump or keep someone who used to help you but now just plain toxic and makes me miserable. Period.
Past me: They helped me in the past and what would I be without them. I know that they make me miserable now and trying to control me but dumping them makes me look like an ingrate. Plus, who will donate their organ or love me or visit my grave?
Present me: Thank you for helping me in the past but you have to go. Me, putuskan silaturrahim? Yeah, I am. But, hey. I have to get rid of bad energy to save myself.
9. When people use religion for their own benefits
Past me: I can't even detect it. I genuinely thought that they're right.
Present me: Seriously, guys? Seriously? Go away!
10. When people unceremoniously dump me
Past me: Can we please reach a settlement?
Present me: Whatever. Please get out of my sight.
11. When people pushes me to buy things
Past me: Okay. I'll buy it.
Present me: Get out of my way!
12. On love and relationships
Past me: I have to wait for him to make the first move. I can't make the first move. It's going to make me feel cheap.
Present me: If I want it, I'll work to get it. Life ain't a fairytale. It doesn't matter who makes the first move, what matters is that the first move is made.
13. On life.
Past me: Feel free to intervene my life and shield me from making mistakes cause I don't want to make mistakes (begrudgingly). Since you're older than me, despite my parents say that it's my choice Imma let you decide for me.
Present me: My life, my choice, my mistake, my fight, my journey. You may advise, you may caution but the moment you try to force me and control me, sayonara ******!!!
14. On information stumbled upon (including the ones that are related to religion)
Past me: Oh my God! They're right!
Present me: Verify, verify, verify.
Since I'm older and somewhat wiser (?), I noticed that I've changed... a lot. Past me would be very shocked to see the present me and the present me would be just winking at past me and said that this is real. As you move on to a new place or a new surrounding, your social circle change and so are your perspective and opinions. I don't think that it's wrong. So, here are the list of my perspective during my teens and early 20s and my perspective now.
1. Criteria of an ideal boyfriend/husband
Past me: I want a big brother figure. Someone who can take care of me. Someone who will tell me to stay out of trouble and someone who controls me a bit. Someone who cares about me and would scold me whenever I mess up. Someone who can guide me to the right path. Someone who can mould me to be perfect and good. Someone who will spoil me and dotes on me and treats me like a little girl. Someone who will protect and support me at all times.
Present me: Someone who I can be myself with. Someone who doesn't control me. Someone who recognizes me as an individual. Someone who respects and understand my life choices despite not really agreeable with it. Someone who will support me and my decisions even though my decisions are dumb and will get me in trouble. Someone who is willing to work together to strengthen our bond. Someone who will trust that despite me getting myself into problems and trouble, I can get myself out. Someone who acknowledge that I'm an independent woman. Someone who will tell me to keep an eye on my goals and go for it. Someone who stand by me and tell me that I can do it no matter how impossible and stupid my goals are. Someone who respects my opinion and will not shoot me down. Someone who is open-minded.
2. Life
Past me: I can't make it alone. I want someone by my side. I need someone to guide me. I need to be rescued. I'm a damsel in distress.
Present me: I'm independent. I have talents and intelligence that God gives me. I can make it. I can do it. The one who will rescue me is me. I'm a fighter.
3. Opinions
Past me: They are older and more experienced than me so they are right and I'm wrong.
Present me: Some are right, some are wrong. Doesn't mean that I'm young and have different opinions doesn't mean that I'm wrong.
4. On myself
Past me: I have to be a good girl. I have to be graceful, gentle, docile, obedient and nice.
Present me: I have to be a good girl and at the same time ambitious, hardworking, smart, gentle yet fierce, obedient yet stubborn and nice.
5. About people
Past me: I want everybody to like me even though I don't like them.
Present me: I don't want to be a people pleaser. It's really exhausting. I like food. Food is good.
6. To those who shoots down my opinions
Past me: They must have been right. Why do I even think about it?
Present me: This is my opinion so please suck it up!
7. When people tells me on how I should live my life (in a forceful way)
Past me: You're right. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Present me: Dude! My parents don't even do that to me so what makes you think that YOU have the authority to do that???
8. When thinking on whether to dump or keep someone who used to help you but now just plain toxic and makes me miserable. Period.
Past me: They helped me in the past and what would I be without them. I know that they make me miserable now and trying to control me but dumping them makes me look like an ingrate. Plus, who will donate their organ or love me or visit my grave?
Present me: Thank you for helping me in the past but you have to go. Me, putuskan silaturrahim? Yeah, I am. But, hey. I have to get rid of bad energy to save myself.
9. When people use religion for their own benefits
Past me: I can't even detect it. I genuinely thought that they're right.
Present me: Seriously, guys? Seriously? Go away!
10. When people unceremoniously dump me
Past me: Can we please reach a settlement?
Present me: Whatever. Please get out of my sight.
11. When people pushes me to buy things
Past me: Okay. I'll buy it.
Present me: Get out of my way!
12. On love and relationships
Past me: I have to wait for him to make the first move. I can't make the first move. It's going to make me feel cheap.
Present me: If I want it, I'll work to get it. Life ain't a fairytale. It doesn't matter who makes the first move, what matters is that the first move is made.
13. On life.
Past me: Feel free to intervene my life and shield me from making mistakes cause I don't want to make mistakes (begrudgingly). Since you're older than me, despite my parents say that it's my choice Imma let you decide for me.
Present me: My life, my choice, my mistake, my fight, my journey. You may advise, you may caution but the moment you try to force me and control me, sayonara ******!!!
14. On information stumbled upon (including the ones that are related to religion)
Past me: Oh my God! They're right!
Present me: Verify, verify, verify.
Friday, 11 October 2013
Apa yang kau takutkan
Apa yang kau takutkan
Apa yang kau takutkan?
Adakah kau takut kau takde masa depan?
Atau kau takut sebab kau tak boleh foresee apa yang akan terjadi?
Adakah kau takut orang tu dump kau?
Atau kau takut yang apa yang kau usahakan itu sia-sia belaka?
Adakah kau takut miskin?
Atau kau takut nampak miskin?
Adakah kau takut take the next step?
Atau kau takut bersusah-payah?
Adakah kau takut hasil nukilan kau tak dapat sambutan?
Atau kau takut hasil nukilan kau diherdik dan dicaci oleh orang ramai?
Adakah kau takut kau gagal?
Atau kau takut diketawakan atas kegagalan kau itu?
Adakah kau takut akan suasana baru?
Atau kau takut bahawa takkan ada safety net untuk kau?
Adakah kau takut untuk go out of major?
Atau kau takut dikritik hebat oleh masyarakat akan pilihan kau?
Adakah kau takut untuk berkawan?
Atau kau takut dikhianati (lagi)?
Adakah kau takut dikecewakan?
Atau kau takut yang kau mengecewakan?
Adakah kau takut bersuara?
Atau kau takut suara kau tu akan membunuh kau?
Adakah kau takut melakukan kesilapan?
Atau kau takut kesilapan itu akan menghantui kau?
Adakah kau takut untuk bercinta?
Atau takut yang cinta itu akan membunuh kau?
Adakah kau takut mati?
Atau kau takut whether you did something right before your death?
Bagitau aku
Apa yang kau takutkan sebenarnya........
Apa yang kau takutkan?
Adakah kau takut kau takde masa depan?
Atau kau takut sebab kau tak boleh foresee apa yang akan terjadi?
Adakah kau takut orang tu dump kau?
Atau kau takut yang apa yang kau usahakan itu sia-sia belaka?
Adakah kau takut miskin?
Atau kau takut nampak miskin?
Adakah kau takut take the next step?
Atau kau takut bersusah-payah?
Adakah kau takut hasil nukilan kau tak dapat sambutan?
Atau kau takut hasil nukilan kau diherdik dan dicaci oleh orang ramai?
Adakah kau takut kau gagal?
Atau kau takut diketawakan atas kegagalan kau itu?
Adakah kau takut akan suasana baru?
Atau kau takut bahawa takkan ada safety net untuk kau?
Adakah kau takut untuk go out of major?
Atau kau takut dikritik hebat oleh masyarakat akan pilihan kau?
Adakah kau takut untuk berkawan?
Atau kau takut dikhianati (lagi)?
Adakah kau takut dikecewakan?
Atau kau takut yang kau mengecewakan?
Adakah kau takut bersuara?
Atau kau takut suara kau tu akan membunuh kau?
Adakah kau takut melakukan kesilapan?
Atau kau takut kesilapan itu akan menghantui kau?
Adakah kau takut untuk bercinta?
Atau takut yang cinta itu akan membunuh kau?
Adakah kau takut mati?
Atau kau takut whether you did something right before your death?
Bagitau aku
Apa yang kau takutkan sebenarnya........
Thursday, 31 January 2013
Of materialism
There was a video circulating around Facebook about how women look at men.
While some glorify the video as reality, others dismiss it as mere generalization. Both of them are right. It is a sad reality that we're facing today. However, not many people know why it happens.
This thing is taught, babe. Nuff said. Can't really blame people who succumb to materialism, regardless of age, gender, ethnicity and location. It is taught. To girls, especially. Believe me. I have the first hand experience.
Our school counselor once said that love would not suffice to survive in this world. Everything is money. Yes, I agree. Money is important to ensure survival in the modern world.
Then, our KH (living skills) teacher who is a man once told us girls that we have to ask a man three questions.
"Don't go for someone poor."
"Get someone with a stable job that can feed you."
And then, comes the dowry issue. Parents tend to set really high amount of dowry on their daughters, sometimes too unrealistic for the guys to meet. The guys have to work his butt off, fast for a few months (sometimes years) and they even have to take up bank loans (like seriously) for it. And, for what? For a grand wedding that only lasts a few hours that will be attended by hundreds of guests that we don't even know? Then, the next thing you know divorce may follow suit. Well, one of the most common grounds for divorce is financial difficulties. I mean, come on. Even family ties got broken off because of money.
Don't forget poverty. Sometimes (most of the time), poverty do play a part in instilling materialism in us. I mean, just watch the movie Pisau Cukur (Gold Digger) and Alice in Cheongdam-dong. Look at how Bella and Se Kyung manipulate their way just to snag a rich man to help them out of poverty. And, I've always thought and was taught that riches corrupt people. Turns out poverty corrupts people too. Sad reality ain't it?
What I'm trying to say is this: Yes, materialism is taught. Taught by family members, school, the media and the society. So, is it really our fault that we succumb to the pressure of materialism? Somewhat since we can always fight against it. It's good to be realistic but that doesn't mean that we should resort to materialism.
#sarcasm Aku perempuan so aku kena cakap pasal benda yang perempuan selalu cakap seperti fashion, masak-masak, kahwin and makeup. Hahaha!!!
While some glorify the video as reality, others dismiss it as mere generalization. Both of them are right. It is a sad reality that we're facing today. However, not many people know why it happens.
This thing is taught, babe. Nuff said. Can't really blame people who succumb to materialism, regardless of age, gender, ethnicity and location. It is taught. To girls, especially. Believe me. I have the first hand experience.
Our school counselor once said that love would not suffice to survive in this world. Everything is money. Yes, I agree. Money is important to ensure survival in the modern world.
Then, our KH (living skills) teacher who is a man once told us girls that we have to ask a man three questions.
- Do they have any cash?
- Do they have a car?
- Do they have a house?
"Don't go for someone poor."
"Get someone with a stable job that can feed you."
And then, comes the dowry issue. Parents tend to set really high amount of dowry on their daughters, sometimes too unrealistic for the guys to meet. The guys have to work his butt off, fast for a few months (sometimes years) and they even have to take up bank loans (like seriously) for it. And, for what? For a grand wedding that only lasts a few hours that will be attended by hundreds of guests that we don't even know? Then, the next thing you know divorce may follow suit. Well, one of the most common grounds for divorce is financial difficulties. I mean, come on. Even family ties got broken off because of money.
Don't forget poverty. Sometimes (most of the time), poverty do play a part in instilling materialism in us. I mean, just watch the movie Pisau Cukur (Gold Digger) and Alice in Cheongdam-dong. Look at how Bella and Se Kyung manipulate their way just to snag a rich man to help them out of poverty. And, I've always thought and was taught that riches corrupt people. Turns out poverty corrupts people too. Sad reality ain't it?
What I'm trying to say is this: Yes, materialism is taught. Taught by family members, school, the media and the society. So, is it really our fault that we succumb to the pressure of materialism? Somewhat since we can always fight against it. It's good to be realistic but that doesn't mean that we should resort to materialism.
#sarcasm Aku perempuan so aku kena cakap pasal benda yang perempuan selalu cakap seperti fashion, masak-masak, kahwin and makeup. Hahaha!!!
Friday, 16 March 2012
Budaya print screen (kau nak mengeji ke nak menyedarkan? part 2)
Hi, this is not Diyana blogging. This is Jason, her friend. Basically, this post is bound to offend (that's why she summoned me instead). It was this: she feels that she's too nice to post angry post on Blogger (but she has nooo problems whatsoever posting them on LJ). Apparently, she has a new phobia next to ophidiophobia (snakes) and guyphobia (boys) she has a new one: printscreenophobia. Printscreenphobia is refusal to post status, blogs or tweets fearing that some irresponsible idiots would print screen it thinking it's controversial and share it to the public hoping it will go viral.
She seemed to take it pretty hard. Sekejap post, sekejap delete. Sekejap post, sekejap delete. Kalau publish pun, private kan. Bukan dia tak percaya kawan dia, cuma dia tak nak orang print screen barang dia tanpa izin. Bagi dia, itu invasion of privacy.
1. Tapi, kalau dia set public, bukan ke dia patut expect benda tu akan jadi kat dia?
Bagi aku, benda ni simple. Kalau dia set public, maknanya dia cuma bagi korang tengok dan komen je. Kalau print screen, kau kena mintak izin. Dia expect yang kau akan tengok post dia. Itu saja. If anybody else want to see their post, they damn well go to her profile and view it. Dia tak expect kau print screen dan tunjuk kat dunia. You're just being redundant and she will suffer profile view loss (dia tak kisah pun siapa view profile dia, let alone berapa views dia dapat everyday).
2. Tapi, apa yang orang cakap tu tak patut lah!
You might be right but that doesn't justify your actions. If what he/she said was offensive/rude like you said and you really want to menyedarkan, kau patut drag diorang somewhere private and slow talk ngan diorang. Kalau nak guna keganasan pun, kau tampar muka tu cukuplah! Tu baru menyedarkan.
3. Tapi, orang lain kena ambik iktibar dari perkara ni!
Hahaha!!!!!! Hampir nak pecah perut aku gelak dengar statement ni. Kau cuba tengok komen diorang. Cuba tengok hate page dan wall post diorang. Kalau ada Twitter, try tengok dan baca. Kebanyakan komen pun bukannya baik sangat. Lagi teruk adalah. Mintak doa laknat lah, ugut bunuh/sembelih lah, ini lah itu lah. Menyedarkan ke? Nak bagi nasihat? Berhikmah ke tu? Tak! Mengeji tu adalah. Honey, tak tau ke kalau kau mengeji memang ke laut lah orang tu? #truestory
Bila orang tu mintak maaf, kau pertikaikan lah, kutuk lah. Kau nak diorang buat apa supaya kau tak kutuk diorang lagi? Bunuh diri? That doesn't sound so bad. Maybe they should kill themselves so you guys will stop harassing them. They don't deserve to be harassed by you guys! Your actions are just disgusting! You should be ashamed of yourself. You guys are cowards, okay. Cowards! If you really want to set them straight, you could've been upfront and told them straight. But nooooo!!!! You guys decided to print screen it for all to see. Don't you guys realize that you are also jeopardizing their safety (and sanity)? With all those doa laknat wishes and death threats can really drive someone up the wall.
Diyana tu pun satu. Coward jugak. Bab marah-memarahi kat Blogger ni, dia terus panggil aku. Yelah, aku tau aku selalu kutuk2 dan maki2 dia. Tapi, kalau aku yang buat camtu kat dia, memang dia akan fire balik. Entah kenapa dia tak boleh fire balik kat korang. I also don't know.
PS: Diyana pesan that the label 'malay' refers to language, not race.
She seemed to take it pretty hard. Sekejap post, sekejap delete. Sekejap post, sekejap delete. Kalau publish pun, private kan. Bukan dia tak percaya kawan dia, cuma dia tak nak orang print screen barang dia tanpa izin. Bagi dia, itu invasion of privacy.
1. Tapi, kalau dia set public, bukan ke dia patut expect benda tu akan jadi kat dia?
Bagi aku, benda ni simple. Kalau dia set public, maknanya dia cuma bagi korang tengok dan komen je. Kalau print screen, kau kena mintak izin. Dia expect yang kau akan tengok post dia. Itu saja. If anybody else want to see their post, they damn well go to her profile and view it. Dia tak expect kau print screen dan tunjuk kat dunia. You're just being redundant and she will suffer profile view loss (dia tak kisah pun siapa view profile dia, let alone berapa views dia dapat everyday).
2. Tapi, apa yang orang cakap tu tak patut lah!
You might be right but that doesn't justify your actions. If what he/she said was offensive/rude like you said and you really want to menyedarkan, kau patut drag diorang somewhere private and slow talk ngan diorang. Kalau nak guna keganasan pun, kau tampar muka tu cukuplah! Tu baru menyedarkan.
3. Tapi, orang lain kena ambik iktibar dari perkara ni!
Hahaha!!!!!! Hampir nak pecah perut aku gelak dengar statement ni. Kau cuba tengok komen diorang. Cuba tengok hate page dan wall post diorang. Kalau ada Twitter, try tengok dan baca. Kebanyakan komen pun bukannya baik sangat. Lagi teruk adalah. Mintak doa laknat lah, ugut bunuh/sembelih lah, ini lah itu lah. Menyedarkan ke? Nak bagi nasihat? Berhikmah ke tu? Tak! Mengeji tu adalah. Honey, tak tau ke kalau kau mengeji memang ke laut lah orang tu? #truestory
Bila orang tu mintak maaf, kau pertikaikan lah, kutuk lah. Kau nak diorang buat apa supaya kau tak kutuk diorang lagi? Bunuh diri? That doesn't sound so bad. Maybe they should kill themselves so you guys will stop harassing them. They don't deserve to be harassed by you guys! Your actions are just disgusting! You should be ashamed of yourself. You guys are cowards, okay. Cowards! If you really want to set them straight, you could've been upfront and told them straight. But nooooo!!!! You guys decided to print screen it for all to see. Don't you guys realize that you are also jeopardizing their safety (and sanity)? With all those doa laknat wishes and death threats can really drive someone up the wall.
Diyana tu pun satu. Coward jugak. Bab marah-memarahi kat Blogger ni, dia terus panggil aku. Yelah, aku tau aku selalu kutuk2 dan maki2 dia. Tapi, kalau aku yang buat camtu kat dia, memang dia akan fire balik. Entah kenapa dia tak boleh fire balik kat korang. I also don't know.
PS: Diyana pesan that the label 'malay' refers to language, not race.
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Sesi perbualan Diyana & Jason part 1
Jason : Aku tengok kau ni lain macam. Tak macam dulu.
Diyana: Aku okay je, bro. Cuma tengah mood swing je. Bukan PMS okay.
Jason : Aku tau. Kau bukannya jenis yang suka guna alasan PMS sebagai lesen untuk kau marah-marah. By the way, aku tau kau ada problem. Bagitau aku jelah.
Diyana: Okay. Camni, aku tak tau kenapa aku asyik marah-marah je. Benda kecik pun aku boleh melenting. Seriously, aku tak tau apa yang terjadi kat diri aku ni.
Jason : Kenapa? Ada yang kau tak puas hati?
Diyana: Banyak kot. Tak tau mana nak start.
Jason : You just start with the one that bothers you most lah.
Diyana: Okay. Basically, aku rasa aku hidup kat dunia ni kena puaskan hati orang lain. I basically have to take into account other people's perception, opinions and thoughts about certain things. You noticed that sometimes I hate or like things because those who are closest to me like or hate them. Whenever I like something that they don't like, I tend to get really pissed off (dalam diam lah). Tapi, most of the times, I was like 'whatever lah, aku bukannya clone kau pun'.
Jason : Alah! Kau ni sensitive sangat. Kau nak buat apa yang kau nak, kau buat je lah. As long as you're not incurring any sins, why not right? Don't get too preoccupied with what others think lah.
Diyana: Easy for you to say. You're a guy. People don't really care what guys do because boys will be boys. As for girls, we have to watch our manners. Sometimes, I feel that I'm not polite enough. I'm not sensitive enough. I'm too freaky. I always feel that I'm under the scrutiny of those people. As in, those older generation. They claimed that they know stuff. That they can see through you. They can prejudge you when they look at you, stuff like that.
Jason : Let me ask you one simple question. Do you ACTUALLY want to be a daughter-in-law to people like that????? Honestly, weih!
Diyana: No way! Tak tahan okay.
Jason : See!!!!! I also don't want okay! It doesn't matter whether their child is such a nice person, good-looking, everything you ever wanted type of person. With parents like those, aku pun tak sanggup! Kau tak patut kisah sangat pasal orang camtu, tak kisah lah tua ke muda. Diorang cuma bystander je dalam hidup kau. Kau fokus kat main characters sudah lah. You said it yourself, caring too much what other people think about you leads to stress, depression, misanthropy, SAD, PD and SD.
Diyana: True.
Jason : If someone acts like that to you konon they know everything about you even if they just met you, just tell them to take ALL of their crap and shove it back to their ass.
Diyana: Kan? Tapi, first impression tu penting tau.
Jason : True, but first impression doesn't say everything about you. You gotta dig deeper before making conclusions. Macam nak cari harta karun. Kau tak boleh nak rely on keadaan tanah je, you have to dig deeper only you can find the treasure. Plus, if you rely on first impression only, will you have friends like you have now?
Diyana: No. I learn that first impression can lie to you.
Jason : See!! Tuhan pun tak judge manusia tau. Dia tunggu sampai hari kiamat baru judge kau ;)
Diyana: Wah! Boleh tahan kau cakap pasal Tuhan :p
Jason : Haha! I have my sources. Don't worry lah. You worry too much lah. You're only 23 and not even running the country.
Diyana: Okay, okay. I understand lah, Jason.
Jason : By the way, aku rasa orang yang suka judge orang ni sebenarnya rugi. Rugi pasal diorang banyak miss benda yang diorang tak tau. Kau jangan jadi macam diorang pulak.
Diyana: Don't worry lah, bro. I won't. Pray for me for backup lah :p
Jason : Yelah yelah. Okay lah, I gotta jet. See ya!!
Thanks a bunch, Jason. I need that :)
Diyana: Aku okay je, bro. Cuma tengah mood swing je. Bukan PMS okay.
Jason : Aku tau. Kau bukannya jenis yang suka guna alasan PMS sebagai lesen untuk kau marah-marah. By the way, aku tau kau ada problem. Bagitau aku jelah.
Diyana: Okay. Camni, aku tak tau kenapa aku asyik marah-marah je. Benda kecik pun aku boleh melenting. Seriously, aku tak tau apa yang terjadi kat diri aku ni.
Jason : Kenapa? Ada yang kau tak puas hati?
Diyana: Banyak kot. Tak tau mana nak start.
Jason : You just start with the one that bothers you most lah.
Diyana: Okay. Basically, aku rasa aku hidup kat dunia ni kena puaskan hati orang lain. I basically have to take into account other people's perception, opinions and thoughts about certain things. You noticed that sometimes I hate or like things because those who are closest to me like or hate them. Whenever I like something that they don't like, I tend to get really pissed off (dalam diam lah). Tapi, most of the times, I was like 'whatever lah, aku bukannya clone kau pun'.
Jason : Alah! Kau ni sensitive sangat. Kau nak buat apa yang kau nak, kau buat je lah. As long as you're not incurring any sins, why not right? Don't get too preoccupied with what others think lah.
Diyana: Easy for you to say. You're a guy. People don't really care what guys do because boys will be boys. As for girls, we have to watch our manners. Sometimes, I feel that I'm not polite enough. I'm not sensitive enough. I'm too freaky. I always feel that I'm under the scrutiny of those people. As in, those older generation. They claimed that they know stuff. That they can see through you. They can prejudge you when they look at you, stuff like that.
Jason : Let me ask you one simple question. Do you ACTUALLY want to be a daughter-in-law to people like that????? Honestly, weih!
Diyana: No way! Tak tahan okay.
Jason : See!!!!! I also don't want okay! It doesn't matter whether their child is such a nice person, good-looking, everything you ever wanted type of person. With parents like those, aku pun tak sanggup! Kau tak patut kisah sangat pasal orang camtu, tak kisah lah tua ke muda. Diorang cuma bystander je dalam hidup kau. Kau fokus kat main characters sudah lah. You said it yourself, caring too much what other people think about you leads to stress, depression, misanthropy, SAD, PD and SD.
Diyana: True.
Jason : If someone acts like that to you konon they know everything about you even if they just met you, just tell them to take ALL of their crap and shove it back to their ass.
Diyana: Kan? Tapi, first impression tu penting tau.
Jason : True, but first impression doesn't say everything about you. You gotta dig deeper before making conclusions. Macam nak cari harta karun. Kau tak boleh nak rely on keadaan tanah je, you have to dig deeper only you can find the treasure. Plus, if you rely on first impression only, will you have friends like you have now?
Diyana: No. I learn that first impression can lie to you.
Jason : See!! Tuhan pun tak judge manusia tau. Dia tunggu sampai hari kiamat baru judge kau ;)
Diyana: Wah! Boleh tahan kau cakap pasal Tuhan :p
Jason : Haha! I have my sources. Don't worry lah. You worry too much lah. You're only 23 and not even running the country.
Diyana: Okay, okay. I understand lah, Jason.
Jason : By the way, aku rasa orang yang suka judge orang ni sebenarnya rugi. Rugi pasal diorang banyak miss benda yang diorang tak tau. Kau jangan jadi macam diorang pulak.
Diyana: Don't worry lah, bro. I won't. Pray for me for backup lah :p
Jason : Yelah yelah. Okay lah, I gotta jet. See ya!!
Thanks a bunch, Jason. I need that :)
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