Past Me vs Present Me part 1

I'm 25 going to be 26 so yeah I'm old. Yayness!!!


Since I'm older and somewhat wiser (?), I noticed that I've changed... a lot. Past me would be very shocked to see the present me and the present me would be just winking at past me and said that this is real. As you move on to a new place or a new surrounding, your social circle change and so are your perspective and opinions. I don't think that it's wrong. So, here are the list of my perspective during my teens and early 20s and my perspective now.

1. Criteria of an ideal boyfriend/husband
Past me: I want a big brother figure. Someone who can take care of me. Someone who will tell me to stay out of trouble and someone who controls me a bit. Someone who cares about me and would scold me whenever I mess up. Someone who can guide me to the right path. Someone who can mould me to be perfect and good. Someone who will spoil me and dotes on me and treats me like a little girl. Someone who will protect and support me at all times.

Present me: Someone who I can be myself with. Someone who doesn't control me. Someone who recognizes me as an individual. Someone who respects and understand my life choices despite not really agreeable with it. Someone who will support me and my decisions even though my decisions are dumb and will get me in trouble. Someone who is willing to work together to strengthen our bond. Someone who will trust that despite me getting myself into problems and trouble, I can get myself out. Someone who acknowledge that I'm an independent woman. Someone who will tell me to keep an eye on my goals and go for it. Someone who stand by me and tell me that I can do it no matter how impossible and stupid my goals are. Someone who respects my opinion and will not shoot me down. Someone who is open-minded.

2. Life
Past me: I can't make it alone. I want someone by my side. I need someone to guide me. I need to be rescued. I'm a damsel in distress.

Present me: I'm independent. I have talents and intelligence that God gives me. I can make it. I can do it. The one who will rescue me is me. I'm a fighter.

3. Opinions
Past me: They are older and more experienced than me so they are right and I'm wrong.

Present me: Some are right, some are wrong. Doesn't mean that I'm young and have different opinions doesn't mean that I'm wrong.

4. On myself
Past me: I have to be a good girl. I have to be graceful, gentle, docile, obedient and nice.

Present me: I have to be a good girl and at the same time ambitious, hardworking, smart, gentle yet fierce, obedient yet stubborn and nice.

5. About people
Past me: I want everybody to like me even though I don't like them.

Present me: I don't want to be a people pleaser. It's really exhausting. I like food. Food is good.

6. To those who shoots down my opinions
Past me: They must have been right. Why do I even think about it?

Present me: This is my opinion so please suck it up!

7. When people tells me on how I should live my life (in a forceful way)
Past me: You're right. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Present me: Dude! My parents don't even do that to me so what makes you think that YOU have the authority to do that???

8. When thinking on whether to dump or keep someone who used to help you but now just plain toxic and makes me miserable. Period.
Past me: They helped me in the past and what would I be without them. I know that they make me miserable now and trying to control me but dumping them makes me look like an ingrate. Plus, who will donate their organ or love me or visit my grave?

Present me: Thank you for helping me in the past but you have to go. Me, putuskan silaturrahim? Yeah, I am. But, hey. I have to get rid of bad energy to save myself.

9. When people use religion for their own benefits
Past me: I can't even detect it. I genuinely thought that they're right.

Present me: Seriously, guys? Seriously? Go away!

10. When people unceremoniously dump me
Past me: Can we please reach a settlement?

Present me: Whatever. Please get out of my sight.

11. When people pushes me to buy things
Past me: Okay. I'll buy it.

Present me: Get out of my way!

12. On love and relationships
Past me: I have to wait for him to make the first move. I can't make the first move. It's going to make me feel cheap.

Present me: If I want it, I'll work to get it. Life ain't a fairytale. It doesn't matter who makes the first move, what matters is that the first move is made.

13. On life.
Past me: Feel free to intervene my life and shield me from making mistakes cause I don't want to make mistakes (begrudgingly). Since you're older than me, despite my parents say that it's my choice Imma let you decide for me.

Present me: My life, my choice, my mistake, my fight, my journey. You may advise, you may caution but the moment you try to force me and control me, sayonara ******!!!

14. On information stumbled upon (including the ones that are related to religion)
Past me: Oh my God! They're right!

Present me: Verify, verify, verify.