Of materialism

There was a video circulating around Facebook about how women look at men.



While some glorify the video as reality, others dismiss it as mere generalization. Both of them are right. It is a sad reality that we're facing today. However, not many people know why it happens.

This thing is taught, babe. Nuff said. Can't really blame people who succumb to materialism, regardless of age, gender, ethnicity and location. It is taught. To girls, especially. Believe me. I have the first hand experience.

Our school counselor once said that love would not suffice to survive in this world. Everything is money. Yes, I agree. Money is important to ensure survival in the modern world.

Then, our KH (living skills) teacher who is a man once told us girls that we have to ask a man three questions.

1. Do they have any cash?
2. Do they have a car?
3. Do they have a house?

Then, our parents and relatives tend to bombard us with sayings such as:

"Don't go for someone poor."
"Get someone with a stable job that can feed you."

And then, comes the dowry issue. Parents tend to set really high amount of dowry on their daughters, sometimes too unrealistic for the guys to meet. The guys have to work his butt off, fast for a few months (sometimes years) and they even have to take up bank loans (like seriously) for it. And, for what? For a grand wedding that only lasts a few hours that will be attended by hundreds of guests that we don't even know? Then, the next thing you know divorce may follow suit. Well, one of the most common grounds for divorce is financial difficulties. I mean, come on. Even family ties got broken off because of money.

Don't forget poverty. Sometimes (most of the time), poverty do play a part in instilling materialism in us. I mean, just watch the movie Pisau Cukur (Gold Digger) and Alice in Cheongdam-dong. Look at how Bella and Se Kyung manipulate their way just to snag a rich man to help them out of poverty. And, I've always thought and was taught that riches corrupt people. Turns out poverty corrupts people too. Sad reality ain't it?

What I'm trying to say is this: Yes, materialism is taught. Taught by family members, school, the media and the society. So, is it really our fault that we succumb to the pressure of materialism? Somewhat since we can always fight against it. It's good to be realistic but that doesn't mean that we should resort to materialism.

#sarcasm Aku perempuan so aku kena cakap pasal benda yang perempuan selalu cakap seperti fashion, masak-masak, kahwin and makeup. Hahaha!!!

Muhasabah diri (Diyana style)

Quote from a friend:

"It is not destiny that determines love. It is choice. Our so – called destiny is a lie. Relationships last long not because they are destined to last long. Relationships last long because two brave persons made a choice to keep it, to fight for it and to work for it. Meanwhile, other relationships fail not because they are destined to fail. They failed because one of the two or both made a choice to give up."

What he said is true. From what I observed, things (the good ones lah) happen to people because they are brave enough to take the steps. Brave enough to get out of their comfort zone and venture out. Things fail because people didn't make any effort to succeed and work it out.

Aku bagi benda simple lah. Kau nak travel the world. Explore the other parts of the world other than your own backyard. Tapi, nak pergi kedai bawah rumah pun kau takut pasal ada berita pasal rising crime rates. Yes, the world is scary tapi itu tak bermaksud kau kena jadi misanthropic hikkikomori yang mempunyai masalah anxiety. Yes, you can read about it in the Internet and books but unless you put yourself out there, Internet dengan buku mana cukup bhai! Sama lah bila kau asyik contact dengan kawan kau secara online/text/phone calls. Ingat cukup? Mesti kau nak jumpa in person kan (melainkan orang tu kau tak nak jumpa lah)? Then, make an effort to jumpa lah! Kau tak boleh jumpa malam, so jumpa time siang ke. Tak kisah lah seminit ke sejam ke, asalkan jumpa. At least kau ada effort.

Yes, comfort zone is very comfortable. That's how comfort zone gets its name. Tapi, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Too much comfort can turn you into a spoiled, whiny, wimpy and limp person. Kau akan jadi malas, manja and a soft ass pussy! Bila susah sikit, kau crumble. Kau tak nak camtu kan? Kau kan fighter. Kau jenis yang kalau nak sesuatu, kau akan work it out to get it. So, be that person! Get out of that comfort zone and rough it out. Kau ingat kawan-kawan kau yang kerja kat Klang Valley ni. Kau ingat diorang senang ke? No! They actually had to leave their families in their hometown for better opportunities! They effing sacrificed their comfort for something that is worth it: career is one of it! Sebab kalau terlalu selesa, you ain't going anywhere.

So, message aku kepada kau dan kepada sesiapa yang tengah terasa now is go out there and savour life (tapi jangan hedonistic sangat okay). Make friends with strangers (tapi at the same time be careful), do something crazy (but legal) and... OMG! Keluar je lah! You have nothing to lose. Bila kau dah tua nanti, at least kau boleh bagitau anak-anak dan cucu-cucu kau about your adventures. Aku tau kau ada simpan bucket list somewhere. Kalau tak in writing, maybe in your mind. Just do it, man! Life is too short to be anxious.