Cause I will be labelled as a cheapskate tradition destroyer part 2 (special Bridezilla edition)

I know that I'll be a Bridezilla for my own wedding.

To my future husband aka Jeremy ahem Lin:

• No. We are not doing a samurai-geisha photoshoot!
• No. We're soooo not getting a fake tan!
• No. I'm not going to dressed up as a zombie.
• Yes. We can have faux flowers for our wedding.
• Yes. You can wear a suit.
• Can I wear a sari/cheongsam for your side's reception?
• Can I invite the Maccabeats over to sing at our wedding? They're cheaper than CN Blue.
• What about Lindsey Stirling?
• Josh Ruben from CollegeHumor? I mean, he's really funny when he played Mama in Precious Plum.
• Can we like take the road not taken for our honeymoon? I'm thinking of Bran's Castle in Romania.
• Can I not invite my ex-boyfriend (if I have one) over. I mean, he's an ex for a reason.
• Can we do a Linsanity handshake?
• I love you.

To the caterers:

• Can we please have bigger chicken parts?
• Can you please peel and devein the shrimps?
• Can we please have a nice bowl of hearty rice porridge and condiments instead of the usual nasi minyak?
• Can we go Arabian instead? Lamb kabsa is the new red velvet.
• Can we please have a hearty bowl of soup for everybody?
• It's telur pindang or telur pindang. But, tea eggs are fine too.Scratch that. Let's go for a jar of honey or a bag full of candies instead.
• Can we please have chocolate cake with chocolate frosting?
• Can the cake please be just one-tier? I mean, not everybody's going to eat it.
• Delicious food, guys. Good job!

To the wedding dress boutique owners:

• Can I wear my wedding dress to other functions?
• Can we please keep beadings and sequins to a minimal?
• No, I am not going to wear a Marie Antionette inspired gown. I mean, I only have a little neck.
• Do I look fat and disproportionate in this dress?
• Can I have a boho-inspired peasant dress instead like the one I meant to write for Alexa and Peter's wedding for my up and coming fiction?
• I want a black suit for my husband. Not gray, not striped. Not medieval inspired either unless our wedding is Halloween themed.
• No. I'm not going to wear the braless, backless, sleeveless and skimpy wedding dresses.
• Can I please have a dress that says 'sweet' instead of 'hot'?
• Thank you.

To the guests:

• No alcohol please. This is a wedding, not a pub.
• We will not be held responsible for any injury, death, broken bones, severed body parts, blood spillage, not being able to catch the bouquet during bouquet toss, fights, breakups, riots, mutiny, insanity or Linsanity, infection, zombie apocalypse, saseng fans syndrome and everything that you can expect a typical wedding's fuck-ups.
• Please take care of your children. There are fragile things here.
• No fighting.
• No, we ain't playing Crazy Frog and Avicii. This is a wedding, not a rave.
• Thank you for coming.

To our families:

• No fighting.
• Can we please not have a tepung tawar and any of those renjis-renjis stuff?
• You wanna invite the whole clan???? How are we going to pay for that?????
• You know the song that goes like: Dia datang (insert beat) dengan lenggang lingguknya? We ain't playing that.
• Our theme is white or cream. Full stop.