Cause I will be labelled as a cheapskate tradition destroyer part 3 (trendsetter edition)

Yoyoyo fellas! It's been awhile since I update this space. Now it's time for 'Cause I will be labelled as a cheapskate tradition destroyer' series. Part 1 was for the general stuff. Part 2 was for the special Bridezilla edition. Now Part 3 is for the trendsetter edition.

:: This is the part where we throw colorful confettis and play party horns ::

I was blogwalking one day browsing through Facebook and stumbled upon my friend's blog post that he shared on Facebook. His name is Rizal Yaakub and y'all can view his entry here. I really find his post interesting that I'm inspired to write a response post to it. I ain't gonna critic his post. Since he's talking about wedding trends, I figure that some trends are so cliche and why don't I make my own trend. Cool huh?

1. Bachelorette party
   The key focus of this party is to celebrate freedom (and loss of it). It must consist of the things that the bride-to-be likes. In my case, my party gotta have chocolates, laughter, music, dance and me getting a henna tattoo of a dragon at the back of my lower waist. In fact, everybody's getting a henna tattoo. And it gotta be private as in a small group of 6 to 7 girls getting together and enjoy ourselves as you know single people. And, Adrien Brody movie marathon. And it gotta be in a private place where there's lots of privacy. And at the same time, cheap. Kartika Sari party at my house yo!

2. Post-wedding photoshoots
   I'm going to borrow someone's DSLR and a super high mega pixel camera phone and let them shoot away. I just have to feed them good food and butt kiss them now and then. PS: Butt kiss means boost their ego by complimenting excessively. Okay. Maybe I'll have to pay for the paper and the printer (and the ink). Dude, I'm slightly old-fashioned.

3. Anniversary dinners
   It has to be done at home where there's only two of us cause I need an excuse to wear LBD/LWD/L-insertanycolour-D. Cause I wear hijab already, I ain't gonna wear short dresses in public. Ain't nobody got balls for that!

4. Engagement ceremony/get-together
   This involves me wire-tapping my dad and/or male relatives so that I can hear how they negotiate me cause I'm an interested party. I also can act as an observer to observe the setting. This will only be a low key setting whereby only immediate family members from both sides are to attend. No dulang hantarans yet cause it ain't official yet. It's GST season. Save your money!

5. Wedding discussion meeting
   Military style background music are to be played at all times. Hey, have you been to a wedding? It sometimes feels like you're in an imaginary unrealistic battlefield cause you're too scared/unsuitable for the real thing. I blame my anxiety.

That's all I guess. I'll put more later if I have the chance.

Cheers.

Relationship tips from a single person

People keep saying to never take relationship advice from someone who is single cause what do they know about relationships right? Well, as a single person I can tell you guys that we singles see some screw-ups in your relationships and you guys actually come to us complaining about your relationship problems. Sometimes you guys fight over the simplest of things but we try to understand lah. Here are some tips for you people in a relationship that I think would be useful.


1. Love is all about teamwork.

Love and relationships are never games. But somehow I see people treat it like so which screws the relationship. Chasing is a thrill but once you guys get together, it's no longer cat and mouse chase anymore. It's all about teamwork. Work together with your partner to make the relationship work. Treat it like you would if it's a business entity. Relationship is a partnership after all. I mean, a relationship cannot work if both parties or one party do not take it seriously and refuse to cooperate right?


2. Be proactive

Girls, don't expect guys to make the first move all the time. Guys, don't be so lazy after asking her out for a first date. If you guys want to get together, plan it. It doesn't really matter who instigate it, what matters is that plans are made. Don't complain that the other party doesn't put in an effort to get together. If you want it, ask.


3. Get your partner's free dates

If you guys work in a legal environment, especially litigation you guys know what I mean. I noticed that this thing is taken really lightly but asking for your partner's free dates in advance is important so that you guys can actually plan to spend time together. Cause seriously, constantly postponing a get-together is really irritating. People don't really mind if you guys have to postpone for some emergency, but constantly postponing it? Seriously? Better not go out at all.


4. Communicate, communicate, communicate

Some of you guys really lack communications. Communication is very important in letting your partner know what you need, what you want and stuff. People are not mind readers so if you want something, ask for it. If you feel dissatisfied or happy, voice it out. Talk it out lah. Be professional about it. Don't shout or accuse each other. Start with things like "I feel that..." so at least the other party can explain themselves without getting too defensive. Make sure you guys understand each other to avoid any misunderstandings. Cause based on my observation, it's one of the reasons relationships screw up.


5. Don't set unrealistic expectations

We girls are guilty of this, me included. I do expect my texts to be returned on time and I get agitated when my calls are unanswered and rejected and when texts don't get replied on time. I know I shouldn't get so irritated but I do have friends who took months to reply and the one who never replies yet accuses me of never keeping in touch. I don't really expect texts to be returned there and then but hey, anytime you guys are online would be fine. And I'm talking about friends of the same gender.

What I'm trying to say is that please do not expect a lot from your partner. Some of us actually need coaxing and reminders. Hate to break it to you guys about this but sometimes we have to act like a secretary. You know what, don't expect at all.


6. I don't care if you're my best friend in the whole wide world but if you cheat on your partner, I'm on their side.

I may not like your partner but if you cheat on them, I'm always on their side. I don't care what are your reasons for cheating, I will still think that you're an asshole. No offence lah. When you cheat, it doesn't only affect your partner, it affects everybody in your circle whether you notice it or not. I know this one couple (they were) who both of them are my friends and I'm closer to the dude. When I found out that he cheated on his (ex) girlfriend, I chose to side with her. Not because she's a girl or that she's younger than me. It's just I saw how her hurt she was and how it devastated her. It just makes me so angry that I fear that this thing will happen to me in the future. It gives me a twisted opinion about love and relationship altogether. Besides, scoffing at the word 'love' and 'relationship' is actually pathetic.

If you apologize, it's actually up to your partner whether to forgive you or not. To be totally honest, I would forgive my partner if he cheats on me but I will only do it once. If he cheats again, I'm burning his car. And, don't complain that your partner turns into a monster when they find out you cheated, YOU are the one that turned them into a monster that they feared they will turn.


7. Don't make promises that you can't keep

When you promise to keep in touch, please do. When you promise a second outing, do it. When you promise to wish good morning and good night everyday without fail, do it. When you promise not to hurt your partner, don't hurt them. Making promises cause the other party to expect and it hurts when you don't carry out. I have guys who after getting my number and saying that we should keep in touch never did and guys who promised a second outing never bother to even reply my text. What I'm trying to say is that screw being polite. If you don't feel like keeping in touch or go out with me for the second time, don't suggest it to me or give me ideas. It's fucking irritating. Heck! I never did. Why do you guys think I never ask for a guy's number no matter how cute or nice they are? Cause when I don't want to keep in touch with them, I just keep quiet and say bye. Yeah, I'm bitter but what do I care? I've been stabbed in the back by 4 guys (actually it's more) and their knives are still there. It doesn't really help that two of them stabbed me 50 times!!!! Guys, just stab it in the heart and be done with it, please!

Felt the burn or the stab? Good. Cause that means that it works. I blog about this topic with that intention. Don't worry. I felt it too.

Inb4: Kau single baik takyah cakap pasal relationship lah!!

Past Me vs Present Me part 1

I'm 25 going to be 26 so yeah I'm old. Yayness!!!


Since I'm older and somewhat wiser (?), I noticed that I've changed... a lot. Past me would be very shocked to see the present me and the present me would be just winking at past me and said that this is real. As you move on to a new place or a new surrounding, your social circle change and so are your perspective and opinions. I don't think that it's wrong. So, here are the list of my perspective during my teens and early 20s and my perspective now.

1. Criteria of an ideal boyfriend/husband
Past me: I want a big brother figure. Someone who can take care of me. Someone who will tell me to stay out of trouble and someone who controls me a bit. Someone who cares about me and would scold me whenever I mess up. Someone who can guide me to the right path. Someone who can mould me to be perfect and good. Someone who will spoil me and dotes on me and treats me like a little girl. Someone who will protect and support me at all times.

Present me: Someone who I can be myself with. Someone who doesn't control me. Someone who recognizes me as an individual. Someone who respects and understand my life choices despite not really agreeable with it. Someone who will support me and my decisions even though my decisions are dumb and will get me in trouble. Someone who is willing to work together to strengthen our bond. Someone who will trust that despite me getting myself into problems and trouble, I can get myself out. Someone who acknowledge that I'm an independent woman. Someone who will tell me to keep an eye on my goals and go for it. Someone who stand by me and tell me that I can do it no matter how impossible and stupid my goals are. Someone who respects my opinion and will not shoot me down. Someone who is open-minded.

2. Life
Past me: I can't make it alone. I want someone by my side. I need someone to guide me. I need to be rescued. I'm a damsel in distress.

Present me: I'm independent. I have talents and intelligence that God gives me. I can make it. I can do it. The one who will rescue me is me. I'm a fighter.

3. Opinions
Past me: They are older and more experienced than me so they are right and I'm wrong.

Present me: Some are right, some are wrong. Doesn't mean that I'm young and have different opinions doesn't mean that I'm wrong.

4. On myself
Past me: I have to be a good girl. I have to be graceful, gentle, docile, obedient and nice.

Present me: I have to be a good girl and at the same time ambitious, hardworking, smart, gentle yet fierce, obedient yet stubborn and nice.

5. About people
Past me: I want everybody to like me even though I don't like them.

Present me: I don't want to be a people pleaser. It's really exhausting. I like food. Food is good.

6. To those who shoots down my opinions
Past me: They must have been right. Why do I even think about it?

Present me: This is my opinion so please suck it up!

7. When people tells me on how I should live my life (in a forceful way)
Past me: You're right. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Present me: Dude! My parents don't even do that to me so what makes you think that YOU have the authority to do that???

8. When thinking on whether to dump or keep someone who used to help you but now just plain toxic and makes me miserable. Period.
Past me: They helped me in the past and what would I be without them. I know that they make me miserable now and trying to control me but dumping them makes me look like an ingrate. Plus, who will donate their organ or love me or visit my grave?

Present me: Thank you for helping me in the past but you have to go. Me, putuskan silaturrahim? Yeah, I am. But, hey. I have to get rid of bad energy to save myself.

9. When people use religion for their own benefits
Past me: I can't even detect it. I genuinely thought that they're right.

Present me: Seriously, guys? Seriously? Go away!

10. When people unceremoniously dump me
Past me: Can we please reach a settlement?

Present me: Whatever. Please get out of my sight.

11. When people pushes me to buy things
Past me: Okay. I'll buy it.

Present me: Get out of my way!

12. On love and relationships
Past me: I have to wait for him to make the first move. I can't make the first move. It's going to make me feel cheap.

Present me: If I want it, I'll work to get it. Life ain't a fairytale. It doesn't matter who makes the first move, what matters is that the first move is made.

13. On life.
Past me: Feel free to intervene my life and shield me from making mistakes cause I don't want to make mistakes (begrudgingly). Since you're older than me, despite my parents say that it's my choice Imma let you decide for me.

Present me: My life, my choice, my mistake, my fight, my journey. You may advise, you may caution but the moment you try to force me and control me, sayonara ******!!!

14. On information stumbled upon (including the ones that are related to religion)
Past me: Oh my God! They're right!

Present me: Verify, verify, verify.

My top 10 favourite love songs

I'm feeling extra jiwang tonight, which is rare because I rarely show my jiwang-ness.

In case some of you don't know, jiwang is a Malay slang for sentimental.

Since I'm feeling jiwang/sentimental, I'm going to list down my top 10 favourite love songs (Youtube videos included) that I would like to include in our (me and my future husband who currently remains a mystery for me to solve) love song CD mix.

#10 Irony by Seriously

I've been a fan of Seriously since 2009. With their catchy beat and light hearted lyrics, what's not to like about this track?



#9 Baby It's Fact by Hellogoodbye

Baby, it's fact. All of it's true. They way black is black and blue which is blue. My love is true, it's a matter of fact. Oh and you love me too. It's as simple as that. Baby, our love is true.



#8 Tonight I Know by Chester See

This song describes how I feel every time I have a crush/fall in love with someone, except for the 'Tonight I Know' part.



#7 Valentine by Kina Grannis

To be honest, Valentine's Day is non-existent in my calendar but this sing is just so sweet :)



#6 I Won't Give Up Until You're Safe and Sound by Ryan Narciso

This is a mash up of Jason Mraz's I Won't Give Up and Taylor Swift's Safe and Sound. They actually go together.



#5 In Your Arms by Kina Grannis



#4 A Short Little Song About Love by Nice Peter

This is a short and sweet song about love.



#3 All My Love by Cameron Mitchell

This is an original song by Cameron Mitchell from the Glee Project. What I like about this song is that it makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.



#2 This is a Way by David Choi



#1 You're a Gift by Dante Give Me Motion

I can listen to this song for a million times and can still melt. Seriously.

Love

Love is a psychosis trigger
It makes you go crazier
And crazier each day
It's an addictive poison
That makes you crave more and more
Until it's all that you think about

Love makes your heartbeat faster
Your blood pressure higher
It makes you feel that
You're running in a marathon
That never seems to end
Yikes!

Love makes you hate
It makes you berate
Yourself for being so foolish enough
To get involved in this vicious cycle
Of courtship, partnership and heartbreaks
Again and again

Love is damn mean
Leaves you messes to clean
Up because everybody tends to play it dirty
By toying with each other hearts and souls
Making us feel like it's a battle between the humans and the demons
In some alternate reality fantasy game

That my friend is lust
Nothing but just
Feelings of sexual excitement due to
Intimacy between two or more individuals
With feelings of so-called love and passion
Which is actually an illusion of the bored lonely mind

Love is confusing
You keep thinking
And thinking until your mind went through
A blackout causing you to feel numb
And eventually surrender to a demon
Called love.

This is my take on love. I had to admit, some parts (or all) are kinds dodgy and messy. I apologize for that. I'm currently experimenting here. Hope to post more poems soon.

By the way.....



This guy inspires me to write the poem. His name is George Watsky.

I will upload an entry about him soon, so stay tuned ;)

Image by George Watsky on Wikipedia

How to soldier on from a heartbreak

Smile. Just smile. It doesn't have to be a wide perky smile. It can be a small smile. A broken smile. A sad smile. But don't make it forced. Just smile. Smile when you see him. Smile even though seeing both of them together breaks you. Smile even though he talks about her. Smile even though you see her. You have no reason to make her your enemy. You have no reason to be a sore loser. Despite playing to win, it is important to lose graciously as well. The demon has retreated so don't worry. There are other demons out there. Let the Lord Knight deal with the demon. There are demon lords far more dangerous to face with greater rewards to get.

You are an Assassin Cross. Poison doesn't hurt you. Poison is your weapon. Use it. Smile. Enhance your weapon. Do not attack a retreating demon as its power is more dangerous when provoked. Dangerous than you can ever imagined. Keep that in mind.


I learned from the best, Taec.

To sum it up in Malay: Dah nama Assassin Cross, hati kena kental lah ^_^

Silk flowers and robot boyfriends

I read in Cathy's Book that Jun asked Cathy whether she preferred real flowers or silk ones. She said that she likes real flowers. As for me, I prefer silk. Silk flowers don't wilt. They don't shrivel and die. They can withstand harsh weather and condition. I don't have to worry about them wilting or drying up to death.

The same goes with robot boyfriends. I don't have to worry about them getting sick. If it acts loopy, just fix it. Immovable joints? Just oil it. I don't have to worry about my robot boyfriend cheating on me or get tired of me or leave me or rape me or staring at other girl's cleavage. Furthermore, I don't have to worry about my robot boyfriend dying.

It would be really cool to have a robot boyfriend. Seriously, I like that thought. A robot that is programmed to love me and my family. A robot that is programmed not to stray. Plus, robots don't have parents or family members (but they have inventors). So, I don't have to worry about pleasing the in-laws.

However, nothing is perfect. Silk flowers don't smell. If they do, they'd smell like... silk or Softlan. They look artificial and not as pretty as real flowers. And, face it. The copy doesn't feel as smooth as the real thing. They don't wilt or shrivel but they collect dust. And that sucks. While robot boyfriends don't stray, I can't rely on it if I have problems or emotional issues. They will make a good shoulder to cry on but that's it. Just a shoulder. Plus, they will have a creepy autotune voice or monotone flat voice that irritates me. True, I don't have to worry about trying sooo hard to please the in-laws and ended up humiliating myself since pleasing inventors are super easy to do. Caring for a robot boyfriend means I have to have basic knowledge in mechanical engineering and calculus (and I need to know how to use a MATLAB). You think rewiring and reprogramming so easy ah? Plus, I can't marry a robot boyfriend and my family will think I'm nuts if I actually do it. They can't grow old with you or have children with you (cause they're robots duh!). Furthermore, robot boyfriends can explode and spontaneously combust plus they're all metal and have no heart.

So, yeah.

Love story between a human and a robot is not meant to be.

In the end, I'll just appreciate the flower until its death and do my best with the human boyfriend who hopefully becomes a great dad for our children, whoever he is.

In the meantime, I'll just kick back, hang loose with the family and friends.

Cross posted in My LJ