Relationship tips from a single person

People keep saying to never take relationship advice from someone who is single cause what do they know about relationships right? Well, as a single person I can tell you guys that we singles see some screw-ups in your relationships and you guys actually come to us complaining about your relationship problems. Sometimes you guys fight over the simplest of things but we try to understand lah. Here are some tips for you people in a relationship that I think would be useful.


1. Love is all about teamwork.

Love and relationships are never games. But somehow I see people treat it like so which screws the relationship. Chasing is a thrill but once you guys get together, it's no longer cat and mouse chase anymore. It's all about teamwork. Work together with your partner to make the relationship work. Treat it like you would if it's a business entity. Relationship is a partnership after all. I mean, a relationship cannot work if both parties or one party do not take it seriously and refuse to cooperate right?


2. Be proactive

Girls, don't expect guys to make the first move all the time. Guys, don't be so lazy after asking her out for a first date. If you guys want to get together, plan it. It doesn't really matter who instigate it, what matters is that plans are made. Don't complain that the other party doesn't put in an effort to get together. If you want it, ask.


3. Get your partner's free dates

If you guys work in a legal environment, especially litigation you guys know what I mean. I noticed that this thing is taken really lightly but asking for your partner's free dates in advance is important so that you guys can actually plan to spend time together. Cause seriously, constantly postponing a get-together is really irritating. People don't really mind if you guys have to postpone for some emergency, but constantly postponing it? Seriously? Better not go out at all.


4. Communicate, communicate, communicate

Some of you guys really lack communications. Communication is very important in letting your partner know what you need, what you want and stuff. People are not mind readers so if you want something, ask for it. If you feel dissatisfied or happy, voice it out. Talk it out lah. Be professional about it. Don't shout or accuse each other. Start with things like "I feel that..." so at least the other party can explain themselves without getting too defensive. Make sure you guys understand each other to avoid any misunderstandings. Cause based on my observation, it's one of the reasons relationships screw up.


5. Don't set unrealistic expectations

We girls are guilty of this, me included. I do expect my texts to be returned on time and I get agitated when my calls are unanswered and rejected and when texts don't get replied on time. I know I shouldn't get so irritated but I do have friends who took months to reply and the one who never replies yet accuses me of never keeping in touch. I don't really expect texts to be returned there and then but hey, anytime you guys are online would be fine. And I'm talking about friends of the same gender.

What I'm trying to say is that please do not expect a lot from your partner. Some of us actually need coaxing and reminders. Hate to break it to you guys about this but sometimes we have to act like a secretary. You know what, don't expect at all.


6. I don't care if you're my best friend in the whole wide world but if you cheat on your partner, I'm on their side.

I may not like your partner but if you cheat on them, I'm always on their side. I don't care what are your reasons for cheating, I will still think that you're an asshole. No offence lah. When you cheat, it doesn't only affect your partner, it affects everybody in your circle whether you notice it or not. I know this one couple (they were) who both of them are my friends and I'm closer to the dude. When I found out that he cheated on his (ex) girlfriend, I chose to side with her. Not because she's a girl or that she's younger than me. It's just I saw how her hurt she was and how it devastated her. It just makes me so angry that I fear that this thing will happen to me in the future. It gives me a twisted opinion about love and relationship altogether. Besides, scoffing at the word 'love' and 'relationship' is actually pathetic.

If you apologize, it's actually up to your partner whether to forgive you or not. To be totally honest, I would forgive my partner if he cheats on me but I will only do it once. If he cheats again, I'm burning his car. And, don't complain that your partner turns into a monster when they find out you cheated, YOU are the one that turned them into a monster that they feared they will turn.


7. Don't make promises that you can't keep

When you promise to keep in touch, please do. When you promise a second outing, do it. When you promise to wish good morning and good night everyday without fail, do it. When you promise not to hurt your partner, don't hurt them. Making promises cause the other party to expect and it hurts when you don't carry out. I have guys who after getting my number and saying that we should keep in touch never did and guys who promised a second outing never bother to even reply my text. What I'm trying to say is that screw being polite. If you don't feel like keeping in touch or go out with me for the second time, don't suggest it to me or give me ideas. It's fucking irritating. Heck! I never did. Why do you guys think I never ask for a guy's number no matter how cute or nice they are? Cause when I don't want to keep in touch with them, I just keep quiet and say bye. Yeah, I'm bitter but what do I care? I've been stabbed in the back by 4 guys (actually it's more) and their knives are still there. It doesn't really help that two of them stabbed me 50 times!!!! Guys, just stab it in the heart and be done with it, please!

Felt the burn or the stab? Good. Cause that means that it works. I blog about this topic with that intention. Don't worry. I felt it too.

Inb4: Kau single baik takyah cakap pasal relationship lah!!

Cause I will be labelled as a cheapskate tradition destroyer

Since there are lots of weddings and engagements going on amongst my circle of friends, I figure that since I have no job, no life and no boyfriend, why don't I make a list of my dream engagement and wedding.

For my engagement:

• Just bring the ring because that's the reason why you guys are here in the first place
• Please keep it in a durable, no-frill container that fits nicely in your pocket
• Hantaran is negotiable. It depends on how much you're willing to pay without taking up a loan and living on Maggi all year long. I don't measure myself with money
• No balas pantun please. I want to keep it as simple as possible
• No dulang-dulang hantaran. Save that for the akad nikah (solemnization)
• Do not overdress. It ain't official yet.

For my (ahem, our) wedding:

• The theme is either white or cream. No offence, that red baju melayu looks really great on you during Eid but on our wedding, it made me cringe.
• A simple akad nikah would do. Either in my house or at the masjid. Preferably at the masjid cause can fit many people and we can like solat berjemaah while we're at it
• To miss or mrs makeup artist: DO NOT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A DRAG QUEEN PLEASE
• No falsies and plucking my eyebrows either
• Simple makeup will do lah. I just want to look pretty and fresh, not like a children's colouring book
• Please keep hijab styling as simple and sweet as possible. I want to be able to breathe
• Reception is optional
• If there is any reception: no tepung tawar and no songs from Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Kesha and Katy Perry shall be played. Lifehouse is approved
• To the caterers: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE PEEL AND DEVEIN THE PRAWNS. I know peeled and deveined prawns ain't pretty but please, I don't want any incident of a prawn jumping out the dining table. The same rule applies to other crustaceans as well. However, I don't really mind raw oysters with shells intact.
• To our family: No fighting, no badmouthing, no usurping the ceremony or any acts that amounted to a wedding coup d etat
• To the jurunikah: please go easy on him. He's nervous
• Dulang hantaran rules: desserts are either to be fresh fruits or chocolates. No cheesecakes. Please make sure you know the size of my clothes and shoes. No flashy patterns like those designer brands like to put. For cosmetics and skincare: please know my skin and hair type and skin tone
• Better yet, scrap the dulang hantaran and use that money for a romantic getaway
• You know what, scrap the getaway too. Save it for the house instead
• Oh yeah. Card rules: Keep the design minimal and simple. Not to mention, unscented

So, yeah. That's all so far. Cheers!

Ramadhan Review Special: Arranged

Synopsis

Two young women — one an Orthodox Jew, the other Muslim — meet and become friends as first-year teachers at a public school in Brooklyn. Over the course of the year they learn they share much in common, not least of which is that they are both going through arranged marriages.

This film is actually based on a true story of an Orthodox Jewish woman named Yuta Silverman who is also an executive producer of this film.

The film started out in the library of a public school where first year teachers had an ice breaking session. Nasira Khalidi, a Muslim of Syrian descent was up first. Followed by an Orthodox Jew Rochel (pronounced: Ro-Hel) Mashenberg. At first, they didn't talk to each other. Their friendship began when some students began to make some prejudicial remarks towards them. Nasira was teaching the class while Rochel was there to assist a blind student in that class as Rochel specialized in special children education and they were called to Principal Jacoby's office because of that. Another thing that strengthen their friendship is that both of them are going through the process of arranged marriage hence the title). Rochel went through a process called sadkhan which involves an arranged date set up by the matchmaker while Nasira went through the usual family coming to her house to meet her family. What I like about this move is that they portray Nasira's family as non-judgmental and not oppressive. Contrary to what's been reported by Human Rights Watch, Amnesty International and whatnots, when it comes to arranged marriage, both Nasira's parents did not force her to enter into arranged marriage. They actually want what's best for Nasira and took into account of Nasira's personal opinion. And, when Nasira finally found a match, they gave their blessings seeing how happy Nasira is. Meanwhile, Rochel was struggling in meeting a match of her own. Basically, she was pressured by her family to get married quickly (reminds you guys of something right?) in order to avoid diminished prospects of her sister Naomi.

On another note, this film also criticizes the liberalists and the secularists. For example, Principal Jacoby who is a secular Jew felt that it was her job to modernize both Nasira and Rochel which I think is unnecessary. In some way, I felt that Jacoby was disrespectful of both of their culture and try to force her beliefs to them.

In my opinion, this film is worth a watch. It is a feel good romantic comedy film with a hint of culture. Yes, you guys get to learn some culture, especially when it comes to Orthodox Jewish culture. This film also portrays that people can be modern and keep up with the current time while adhering to their faiths at the same time.

This film shows how individual relationships can transcend age-old divisions and shows that in the search for love, true friends know best.

Rating: 4.5/5

Now, on to the trailer:



Starring: Zoe Lister-Jones, Francis Benhamou, Doris Belack and Mimi Lieber.

For more info, head on to Arranged Official Website

Credits to Cicala Film Works on Youtube

[Spotlight] Lindsey Stirling

Meet Lindsey Stirling everybody!




Or Hip Hop Violinist as they call her on America's Got Talent!!!!

I'm so excited for this Spotlight entry now. Why? Because this is the first spotlight entry ever that features a girl I realized that I've always write spotlights on dudes. Not that I don't like it, it's just I feel that it's about time I feature a girl

Well, on to Lindsey then.

She is a violinist, composer, performance artist, dancer and musician from Utah. She was born in Orange County, California but stayed in Utah. She was first interested in classical music records played by her father when she was 5 years old. Due to that, she requested the opportunity to learn and play the violin.

She was classically trained through private lessons for 16 years. She joined a rock band called Stomp on Melvin with four friends. As part of her experience with Stomp on Melvin, she wrote a solo violin song. Her performance helped her to win both title of Arizona's Jr. Miss in 2005 and the talent category of the National Jr. Miss Pageant.

Shortly after her performance in America's Got in 2010 (which she was a quarter finalist), cinematographer Devin Graham contacted her through Facebook to make a music video together. She replied a few months later and they scheduled to shoot her first music video for her song, Spontaneous Me. The video gave a major boost to Lindsey's popularity and she began to make music videos for her Youtube channel. Both Lindsey and Devin began dating after the release of her second music video, Transcendence. They've been together ever since and frequently collaborated with each other in making Youtube videos.

She always experimented in combining violin with hip-hop, dubstep and shuffling. She also has collaborated with other Youtubers such as Peter Hollens, Megan Nicole, Eppic, Jake Bruene and Frank Sacramone.

If you guys are into classical music with a modern twist, Lindsey Stirling is for you. And, if you like cute quirky girls doing what they do best, then she is definitely for you as well. I was interested in her when she collaborated with Megan Nicole to cover Starships by Nicki Minaj and I was hooked on her ever since. I just couldn't get enough of her talent and quirkiness (and the hair). She's not like those boring type of classical musicians who would just stand or sit down while playing their instruments. She actually dances and experiments in different genres to keep people entertained.

Here are some of her videos:



Spontaneous Me



Electric Daisy Violin



Dubstep Violin - Crystallize



River Flows in You by Yiruma



Transcedence

More Lindsey:
Lindsey's Youtube
Lindsey's Official Website
Lindsey's Facebook
Lindsey's Twitter

Credits:
Lindsey Stirling on Wikipedia
Lindsey Stirling on Last FM